Playing With Fire || d.h

17. Life's Only a Little Shit

Dan's POV

What am I getting myself into?

It was impossible to ignore the hostility between Samantha and Dodie and (Y/n).

Since it had gotten late, I decided it was probably time to get to bed. However, Samantha didn't want to hail a taxi this late at night, so I let her stay. Of course I feel extremely uncomfortable, seeing as this is only, like, the third time I've hung out with her in person. Yeah, it might be completely normal to sleep in the same bed as someone you're dating for most people, but it takes a long time for me to really become comfortable around someone.

I can't help but be incredibly perturbed by the way (Y/n) has been acting all day. It was normal for her to act shy around PJ, probably because she's the same way as I am with newer relationships. However, today, she almost seemed... scared of him. Whenever he touched her, she would immediately flinch, but then try to play it off. When he talked to her or made any sign of her existence, it was obvious, at least to me, that she was incredibly uncomfortable. I make a mental note to ask her if something's up as soon as I get a chance.

"I'm gonna go use the restroom," announces Samantha, knocking me out of thought. She sashays out of my room, and I sit down on the edge of my bed, overcome with thought.

She's really an amazing, beautiful girl. However, every time she opens her mouth or looks my way, I can't help but reminded of the high school girls who I was too self conscious and awkward to talk about. Being around her makes me feel like an alien, like we're from two separate worlds. And in a sense, we are. We lack connection based on experiences and our history. It's not something I want to think about, but I can't help but question if she would date me if I wasn't who I was now, if I was still an awkward high schooler instead of an awkward famous YouTuber. She did tell me on our first date that she recognized me the first time she saw me, and it makes me feel ridiculously shallow, but I can't help but question if she didn't recognize me, if she would've paid me any mind at all.

I see the door open out of the corner of my eye, and look up. Samantha walks in and pushes the door closed behind her, leaving it only a crack ajar. There's a complicated look in her eyes that fills my stomach with nervousness, and I instinctively gulp.

"Hey," I mutter awkwardly, not knowing what else to say or do. She stays silent, continuing to walk slowly up to me. What the hell is going on? I rack my brain for something to say, but my mind has somehow turned to alphabet soup.

"Dan..." she breaths seductively, and I can almost feel the lust radiating off her body. She stands in front of me. Suddenly my mind turns upside down and I have no idea what's going on or how this even started as she softly gets on my lap and straddles me, grabbing my face with ice cold, delicate hands, and diminishing the rest of the little space between us as she connects her lips with mine. I gasp, obviously surprised, but not knowing what the hell else I'm supposed to do, I grab onto her and start kissing her back.

She seems to think we don't have any time at all as she hungrily pushes me so I'm lying on the bed, as her tongue demands entrance into my mouth.

She progresses uncomfortably and before I know it, she's hastily unbuckling my belt and tugging my shirt over my head, only breaking us apart for less than a second. I grasp the hem of her shirt and pull it off her, and she hurriedly unclasps her bra and throws it on the ground. I'm filled with complete awkwardness as her breasts become exposed, but luckily she doesn't wait for me to react, as she dives straight back into kissing me.

It's twenty minutes later, and Samantha is curled into a ball, lying on my bare chest.

What we did was fun, but I can't help but wish it had been with someone else.