Playing With Fire || d.h

82. Whiplash

Your POV

As Dan sits in a chair next to me, the color drained from his face, I can't stand looking at him, guilt sitting in my stomach. I know I haven't seen him in weeks, but there's nothing I want to do more than be alone right now. Dodie and Macy sit on each side of me, Phil standing right behind Dodie while Dan sits the farthest away from me. We sit in awkward silence, and I try to think of any way to end it, but I'm way too tired to even organize my thoughts.

Slowly but surely, thankfully, whatever pain meds they gave me slowly kick in, and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~

When I wake up, I only know it must be hours later, as the sun has completely gone down. I think I'm alone, before I turn my head, and see Dan still sitting next to me, staring at his screen. He must sense me staring at him, as he looks up, an unreadable expression on his face.

Dan's POV

As she looks at me, my heart drops. The soul has completely left her eyes, and my mouth gapes as I can't think of anything to say.

Your POV

We sit in silence, gazing at each other, and I try to form a sentence in my mind, which has completely turned to fog.

"Hey," I mumble, attempting to sit up. However, I whimper as pain spreads through my abdomen. Dan immediately sits up, almost protectively. I can't help but laugh awkwardly. "Don't worry, Dan, I'm fine."

He slowly sits back down, not taking his eyes off of me as I continue to adjust the way I'm sitting. After awhile, I get as comfortable as I think I'll be able to. 

"Where is everyone?" I ask, rubbing my eyes.

"Um, they all went to get some food, and walk around a little bit," he explains. I nod my head, unable to think of a way to break the awkward silence. Finally, Dan says something, but it wasn't what I was expecting. "I...I'm gonna go see if I can find them."

"Oh...okay," I reply, and he virtually darts out of the room.

I fucked everything up.

Dan's POV

I rush out of the room and into a restroom, locking myself in a stall and leaning against the door. My chest begins heaving as panic rises in my chest, and I close my eyes, tears welling up in the corners. God, I fucked everything up. I can't even think of what to say to her. I don't know how to act around her anymore. What the hell am I doing?

Your POV

"Fucking hell," I mumble under my breath, attempting to adjust the way I'm sitting, causing pain to shoot through my spine and all of my nerves. Tears well up in my eyes as I nearly black out from the agony.

I'm sure James has done worse to me. However, I had been relatively used to it, and I had drugs to numb the pain. I'm sure they're pumping an atrocious amount of medicine into me at the moment, but I honestly feel nothing.

However, as much as the physical discomfort aches, it can't even compare to the emotional pain inside me. Having to eat, having to deal with the depression, and anxiety, and never ending fear. And the worst part; seeing Dan, but it's as if he's a total stranger. He looks at me like a kicked puppy, not even able to talk to me.

The door to my room opens, and Dodie, Phil, and Macy walk in, all carrying food and drinks.

"Hey, where's Dan?" Dodie immediately asks, sitting down in one of the farther away chairs.

I only shrug my shoulders. "He said he was going to look for you guys," I reply, and her eyes narrow in confusion.

"Hm, there's only one way from here to the cafeteria, we should've passed him in the hallway."