Playing With Fire || d.h

53. Hush

Your POV

"You're leaving?" I'm using every ounce of restraint in my body to keep myself from crying, not wanting to believe what I've just seen on his screen. This just proves that the saying "curiosity killed the cat" is really fucking true.

While Dan had been up, I heard a chime come from his laptop, and immediately went to inspect it. I thought I'd possibly be able to find out why he'd been so isolated the last few weeks, and turns out I was right. There was an email from his and Phil's manager. It only took me a millisecond to figure out what the email was about, thanks to the title at the top of the screen.

Subject: Dan and Phil European Tour

"Wha-why are you looking on my laptop?" He asks, and my ears perk up as I catch the slight annoyance in his tone, which is what really sets me off the edge.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I demand, standing up.

"I was-I was just waiting for the right time..." he mumbles, looking down at the ground.

"You weren't waiting for the right time, you're just a fucking coward!" I spit before I can stop myself, but I don't care anymore. He's already hurt me ten times more than I could ever do to him.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to scare you, or hurt you! I wanted these last few weeks to be as good as they could be!"

"Weeks? How early are you planning on leaving?" I exclaim. "Were you just gonna keep me in the dark until, like, the night before you left? I'd just walk in here one day and you'd just have a suitcase and be leaving me for who knows how long?"

"It came a lot earlier than I planned! Neither Phil or I had a lot of say in it!"

I let out an infant-like whine as I throw my hands in the air, slapping them back down to my sides, incredibly frustrated. "When...when are you leaving?" I ask, my hand on my forehead as my head pounds harder and harder.

"Two weeks." The airflow through my lungs seems to suddenly be cut off.

"How long will you be gone?"

"A month-ish..." he breathes in as quiet a tone he can, as if he's trying as hard as he can for me not to hear him, and part of me wishes I hadn't. My heart drops. I only have two weeks, then Dan will be leaving me for over a month. This safe, almost normal life that I'd been ignorant enough to get used to is basically being ripped away from me, like just another huge 'fuck you' from the universe.

"How long have you known?"

"Our manager emailed me about it the first time when you were in the hospital."

I let out a huge sigh, slumping back into his chair and dropping my head onto his desk, unable to keep my shoulders from shaking as I finally break down into my weakness. Dan's strong, steady hands place themselves right above my collar bone, rubbing my shoulders reassuringly. Intense love hits me straight in the chest, which immediately morphs into dysphoria.

Life can't just stop fucking me up, can it?

~~~~

Dan's POV

I read the article on my phone from the news, and sit on the couch as I see that PJ has not only been spotted, but caught, and now is in custody with the police. I know I should be happy, but all I can think of is the lawyers and court and whatever other legal nonsense (Y/n) will probably have to deal with, and how I'm not going to even be here to help her get through it, or at least make sure she's okay. I'm already procrastinating on the idea of how to tell her that's he's been caught, and I don't even know if she knows we had made a police report in the first place.