Playing With Fire || d.h

94. Petals

Dan's POV

(Y/n) sobs into my chest for God knows how long, but I'm more than willing to hold onto her for the rest of my life, if I have to. I rub slow circles into her back, giving her a chance to let out all the pain that must've been building up for the longest time.

Eventually, she's cried out, and takes a step away from me. The color of her eyes stands out against the bloodshot red, the rest of her eyes swollen and the corners of her mouth still quivering. She tries to wipe the tears from her face, but more just replace them in less than a second.

"I'm...I'm sorry," she quickly apologizes, her voice still shaking. "It just must be the stress from being here, and having to bring up all that old stuff, and I just can't stop thinking about it..."

I let her go on. It's beyond painful to listen to the way she talks about herself, but I know she needs to let it out at some point. Finally, she finishes mid-sentence, as if she's finally run out of ammunition. She gives a final dramatic sigh, before taking a step back and pacing in a circle, still clutching the jumper to her torso.

Then, she says the words that really leave a sting.

"I just...I don't see how you could ever really love me. Part of me wants to believe it, but another part of me believes this is all just some sort of...cruel joke, or something."

Heat rises in my cheeks, and anger bubbles in my gut. Not anger at her, but anger at the fact that she is this amazing thing, yet believes she's something totally opposite.

"(Y/n), you're literally the one thing I'd give anything up for," I say, taking a step toward her so she has to tilt her head up to maintain eye contact with me. "I know you have no control over your thoughts, and I know those demons in your head are telling you you don't deserve anything but pain and misery. But in reality, you deserve the whole fucking world. And it eats me up inside that you can't get yourself to believe that."

Her eyes gloss over, and I know she's about to start crying again. I can see the gears turning in her head as she tries to find some sort of argument, but I can tell she isn't able to bring up anything. Instead, I take advantage of this moment of silence to say one more thing.

"(Y/n), I am so fucking in love with you."

Tears brim over her eyes, but she gives me a weak, wavering smile that somehow meets her eyes. "Dan, I'm so fucking in love with you, too."

My heart feels light as air, an explosion of some emotion I'll never be able to explain filling my chest. I become incredibly impulsive, and grab her face in my hands, kissing as deeply as I can. Her hands grab my waist, pulling herself close to me as her thumbs touch the bare skin underneath my shirt.

Much too soon, we pull apart, and her sparkling eyes gaze into mine, a contagious smile playing on her lips. "I think that's all I really needed," she breathes, and I give a small chuckle.

"Well, don't worry, because there's more where that came from," I reply, and her nose wrinkles as she laughs, stepping away from me.

"That's probably one of the lamest things you've ever said," she says, pulling on her jumper, and rolling up the oversized sleeves.

"Yeah, well, just because it's lame doesn't mean it's not true."

She only rolls her eyes, before walking back up to me, and kissing me on the jaw. "Just go take a damn shower."

~~~~

Your POV

After Dan and I both take showers, we lie in bed, taking up only about a fifth of the mattress as we cuddle. Dan had turned on some TV movie I've never heard of, and both of us fall asleep before we can even figure out the plot.