Playing With Fire || d.h

107. Season's Yeetings

A/N: this picture gives me heart palpitations.

Even with Christmas being over, our apartment is still littered with decorations that we're too lazy to take down. That, and I really haven't accepted the fact that Christmas is over.

After filming a video(with my new camera), I walk into the lounge, where Dan and Phil sit on the couch.

"Okay, so we're going to need snacks, like chips and things, and liquor, and definitely lots of champagne..." Dan lists, while Phil types something into his notes.

"Champagne for what?" I ask, and Dan nearly jumps as he sees me. An expression I can only explain as guilt covers his face, and I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes. "What is it?"

"Um, we were kind of planning on having a...a New Years party here tomorrow night. If that's okay with you," he quickly adds. However, by the fact that both him and Phil are okay with this, I'm not sure my opinion is actually warranted.

"Um, yeah, of course that's fine," I immediately reply. "How many people were you thinking about inviting?" Even more guilt covers his expression, and my heart starts to sink.

"Probably around, like, fifteen...or twenty, something like that," he mumbles, looking away from me and itching his nose. I'm immediately frustrated with the fact that he obviously knew I wasn't going to be all on board with the idea of throwing a party, which is why he was keeping it from me. How long would it have been before he told me, anyway?

However, I'm not going to be the party pooper who ruins everyone else's plans, just because I'm introverted. I thought Dan wasn't much of a party person either, but whatever. "Yeah, that's fine," I say, trying my best to put a smile on my face. "Just tell me what you'll need when you know, because I was planning on making a run to the grocery store, anyway."

That's a total bold-faced lie, but I'm already dressed, so whatever.

Dan grins. "Okay. I'll text it to you when we're done.

I give him a smile. "Peachy." I then turn on my heel, and walk from the lounge to the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror, gripping the sides of the sink.

I've been to plenty of parties when I was a kid, so why does this feel so hard for me? I mean, I know I was on drugs most of the time, but I can't be a totally different person than I was then. I'll just have a few drinks when the party starts, and all will be okay.

I look into my eyes, and even I know that I'm lying.

Whatever. I have control over my emotions. If I keep telling myself that, it should become true. I'm going to have this party, and I'll be the perfect hostess, and talk to all these people that I haven't seen in forever, and it should all be fine. I don't have anything to worry about.

Dan sends me the list of supplies needed, and I add it all to the list of groceries I made earlier. The list is extensive, and I know this is going to be a long haul. I sigh heavily, before pulling on my winter coat, and walk out of the apartment.

My fingers and nose are nearly instantly numb from the wicked weather, my eyes watering and blurring my vision as I speed-walk down the street, ducking my face down to keep as away from the wind as possible. I get a headache on the walk to the store, and take an Advil from my purse when I finally get there. I grab a cart, pull out my list, and make my journey throughout the grocery store.

Bread, eggs, cookies, soda, liquor, champagne. I check off one thing after the other on the list, rushing as fast as possible while grabbing everything I need. The cart begins to pile up, and I wonder how I'm going to be able to bring all these groceries home. I decide to put a few things away, which I can pick up tomorrow or on another day. I make sure I get everything on the list Dan sent me, even the things I really think we could do without.