Way back into Love

Way Back 37

Iya's POV

I woke up with a bit heavy heart. My aunt left early for a vacation. Mabuti naman at naisip ng tita magbakasyon. She deserves that, too. Next week will be our Oath Taking Ceremony. Today, wala akong masyadong gagawin. I opened the television at naghanap ng pwedeng palabas. Mayamaya pa ay may nag doorbell.

Aga naman ni tita?

Tumayo ako at binuksan ang gate. I saw Eric standing, holding a bunch of flowers.

"Hi. For you." then he gave the bouquet of sunflowers to me. Tinanggap ko na lang at naunang pumasok sa bahay. Sumunod naman siya.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito? Baka mamaya, sumugod nanaman iyong girlfriend mo." Sabi ko.

Umiling siya. "Wala akong girlfriend. At hindi ka na niya masasaktan pa. Iya, I want to talk to you."

"About?"

"About... us."

My eyes widened.

"What do you mean by us? There's no us, Eric. FYI, ha."

"Eh, ano 'yong mga nangyari sa Batangas? The way you smile, the way you held my hand and the way you kissed me back, Iya! Damn!" he hissed. Nakakunot ang noo niya habang sinasabi ang mga iyon.

Nagpatuloy siya sa pagsasalita.

"I feel that. I feel that you're falling... again. Bakit mo pinipigilan? Iya, what are you worrying about? Hindi naman na kita sasaktan o iiwan. I'll do better now. I promise..." pagsusumamo niya. "At si Chesca, don't worry, ipapadala siya sa ibang bansa. Nalaman ng mga magulang niya ang ginawa niya."

"Hindi lang naman si Chesca ang iniisip ko. Wala akong pake sa kanya."

"How can I be sure of that? Na hindi ka na aalis basta basta? The last time I checked, may ala-kabute ka." I chuckled. "Ganyan naman kayo, eh. Kung kailan mahal na namin kayo tsaka kayo aalis! I can't trust you again, Eric. Yes, what if I'm falling? Sometimes, just love is not enough. Love can't save us to our misery sometimes."

Siguro nga, duwag ako. I can't take the risk. Pero masisisi niyo ba ako? Nasaktan ako, eh. Dala dala ko 'yon hanggang ngayon.

He was my first love. He was the reason why I believe in love. Unfortunately, he is also the very reason why I am not anymore.

"Oo malaki na tayo. Pero Eric, hanggang ngayon hindi ako makapagmahal ng maayos dahil sa nangyari noon. Na baka ganito, ganyan. Ang hirap, eh." I felt my tears started to fall down.

"Sorry... If I can turn back time, Iya. If only I can... I chose her, pero nawala pa din siya. Edi sana ikaw na lang ang pinili ko. Damn, the two most important women just gone in my life!"

What??!

"Ayoko na sanang sabihin sayo, but I think you deserve to know what really happened back then. There's a part of me that I don't want you to know because I don't want you to go back to me just because of pity."

"Iya, I had decision to make before. Mommy's dying that time. She had a brain tumor. Stage four. Late na namin nalaman. Nung gabing iyon umatake ng sobra ang sakit niya, kaya that night nag book agad si dad ng flight para sa better medication ni mom. Wala na kaming napagbilinan. I want to stay. Believe me, I wanted to stay. But seeing mom sufferring like that.. And seeing dad so broken, at ako na wala akong magawa. Ang hirap. Pagdating namin doon, mas nagpakita ang signs ng cancer. It's getting worse and worse everyday. After a week, mommy died. Hindi kami nakabalik dito agad dahil kay Dad. Hindi niya pinapakita na umiiyak siya but I know na kapag walang nakatingin ay umiiyak siya. Dad was so depressed that time. Kaya si Uncle Rico ang namahala pansamantala sa company. Mom's body was cremated. Dito siya nakalibing sa Pilipinas. Pinalipas namin iyong pain. But the pain is still here, Iya. And I don't think it will leave us. Because it leaves a permanent scar. Hinintay kong makabangon si Daddy. After two years, we need to go back to our normal lives. Saktong pag-alis mo naman."

I can't believe I am hearing this. So all this time kaya ba wala si Tita Erica? That's why I'm not seeing her anymore? Napahagulgol ako. Tita Erica is the closest person that can be my mom. Maliban kay Tita Cara.

"Sorry, Iya. Kung hindi ko nasabi sayo agad. Kung di ako nakatawag o nakapag-email sayo noon. Sorry..."

"I love you. I really do. But I had to go... Please don't ever doubt my love for you."

After that, he turned away. Nagpupunas din siya ng luha. Marami akong tanong pero umalis na siya.

Now, I don't know what to feel. Ang alam ko lang, iyak ako nang iyak hanggang sa makatulog ako.