His Blue ✓

4| Blue

"Indie, what's wrong?"

Fern looks at me through her worrying eyes. I bite my lip. I badly want to tell her what happened, but I don't want her to worry about me.

"Nothing." I halfheartedly say.

"Oh I know that's not true."

We move up in the lunch line and Fern gives a loud sigh. She obviously doesn't believe my feeble attempt to reassure her. I twist my blue hoodie strings between two fingers.

"Okay. Anson and Bryce read my personal journal entries today in class without my permission. I was mortified." I say honestly.

"Your personal entries?"

I bite my lip. "You know, my depression?" I remind her of our past, mine specifically, and her eyes widen in disbelief.

     "Oh Indie, that's awful!" She says sympathetically. "How did that happen?"

Honestly I don't know how Anson manages to do anything he does. Why don't other people hate him? And Bryce too...

"They stole it from me." I recall angrily. "I don't even know them, but they took my book and read it. It was humiliating."

"That's terrible." Fern shakes her head.

     I nod, feeling sorry for myself like always.

     Something about the two most popular guys in the school hearing a part of my darkest hours makes me want to recoil and never come to school again.

     Fern grabs a lunch tray from the stack and hands one to me. I absentmindedly take it as we move through the buffet line. Chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, corn, and a roll.

     Thanks Michelle Obama- these rolls are whole wheat.

     When Fern and I finally have our lunch, we walk to the band room. Fern is in band and she loves it.

     Sometimes I wish that I would have joined Band, too. After the stories Fern tells me about it.

      How they sing on the bus coming back from football games, how they joke during marching practice, how they make themselves sick on fried Oreos at marching competitions.

     However, I don't think I could handle the super strict schedule. Not only that, I'm not the most coordinated.

     The Band room is large. The floor is a kind of concrete. Music stands are scattered across it. A director's office is adjacent to the room. When we enter, I notice he is eating lunch inside.

      The real reason we come during lunch, is to watch all of the talented musicians goof around. Back when we were freshmen, Fern was enthralled in the band geek world. I came along with her because I had no world.

We've been eating here since. I think, and can't imagine a reason why I will ever eat anywhere but here with Fern.

     "I'm starving!" Ferns announcement jeers me back to our surroundings.

Today I see a bass player, electric guitar player, a drummer, and a trumpet player. They start up by playing some kind of jazz music and it sounds great. I smile at Fern and we sit on the floor.

     "So, how has your day been?" I ask her quietly.

     "Pretty good. There's this cute guy in my 2nd period algebra 2 class." She blushes a little.

     Her pale flawless skin is growing quite pink.

     "Oh?" I nudge her with my elbow and pop a chicken nugget in my mouth.