His Blue ✓

1| Class with the QB

"Dear Anxiety...

     You don't get to win.

     I'm choosing to start again.

     I don't have to please anyone

     My nervousness is not gone,

     But I choose to ignore it and to move on.

     you've lost your hold on me."

"INDIGO!"

I huff when I hear my mother yell my name from downstairs. Her tone reminds me that school is starting soon - and that if I want a ride I need to hurry.

I quickly close my composition book, promising to finish my poetry later.

"Hurry up Indie, honey!"

I smile. That is more like it- being called Indigo is just too... formal.

I look around my small bedroom, run to my bed, grab my school bag, and return to tromp down the hallway stairs of my small house.

When I arrive in my kitchen, my mother greets me with a warm smile. Her greying hair is pulled back into a bun. The tension makes the usual crinkles by her eyes less noticeable.

"Where's Bryn?" I ask her impatiently.

Bryn is my 13 year old sister. She takes more pride in her appearance at 13 than I do at 18.

My mom smiles. "She's getting ready. You know- makeup and all."

I chew my lip. "Isn't an eighth grader too young for that sort of thing?"

    An eighth grader is definitely too young for that sort of thing...

Mom laughs. "She'll be a freshman next year! Anyways Indie, not everyone can be so comfortable in their own skin." She looks at me- makeup free, brown hair flowing around my shoulders, clad in a hoodie and jeans.

I grin awkwardly. "I wouldn't say I'm comfortable- just... accepting of who I am."

Mom chuckles and gazes past me at my little sister, who has just tiptoed down the stairs.

"Morning" Bryn grins at the two of us.

Mom smiles before grabbing her keys. "Ready?"

Bryn and I nod and make our way through the living room and out the front door. Like always, Mom's 2004 Ford Escape is waiting patiently in our driveway. I call shotgun. Ignoring an indignant huff from Bryn, I smile in satisfaction at my victory.

    In my opinion, it's only fair that the licensed one at least get to ride up front, while their mother is saving money to buy her a car.

     Though... it's not fair that she should have to work so hard to save the money.

    I begin thinking about my family's financial status. My good- for-nothing father isn't sending us money like he should. My mom is working her ass off to provide for Bryn and me.

     I work too, of course. After school everyday, I have a job at the town bookstore. My bookstore is more than just a job. It is a preservation of my heart. Some days only the sight and smell of books keeps me going.

     I smile out of the window as my mom pulls up to my highschool. It is a large building. A concrete block sitting on a concrete slab. No.. it isn't that ugly.