Gonna Be the Death of Me (adopted by Brendon Urie)

//thirty four - you'll miss all the beautiful things//

Song of the Chapter: Beautiful Things, Grayscale

 A week had passed, and Eva had her good and bad days. Some days, she was the first out of bed, writing songs or playing covers and waking up the boys with breakfast. Others, she would only leave her bed when she was carried out of it, only eat when forced to and only forced by certain people. She could easily refuse food from everyone except Tony, Pete, and Tyler with a few exceptions from Brendon and maybe Vic. Today was one of those days. It was a free day in London before the group headed to Australia the next day for the remaining two weeks of shows and week of small acoustic sets. 

Since the night of her father, Eva was on suicide watch practically, never left alone and watched carefully. She didn't mind it honestly, she felt protected that way, but she was starting to feel like a burden. For the most part, she wasn't scared of the guys like that night, knowing they had earned her trust for a reason in the first place. "E? Let's go get breakfast?" Tony asked quietly through the curtain, starting to slowly pull it open. Inside the bunk, Eva was scratching her wrist gingerly and shaking her head. "Shhh," Tony said, taking her small hand in his and pulling it away from her arms. "Come on, darling." He started to carefully pull Eva from the sheets and out of her bed. "Please, Tony. Just let me stay here. Please." It made Tony feel bad for making her do things she didn't want to, but she had to eat and experience the world, more now then ever. 

"I'm sorry, E. But, you have to get out of here a little bit everyday. We can stay right outside the bus, okay?" She nodded sadly before being set on the ground and pulling a blanket around her shoulders. The two sat outside, Tony's arm around her slumped shoulders. "Want to call Theo?" he asked while pulling her phone out for her. Eva had been talking to Theo, not wanting to isolate herself that much anymore. He was worried for her, but knew this was going better then anyone thought and that all of the boys were watching her. The close-call attempt terrified him, but he was trying to not fixate on it, at least until she was home. But, Theo also knew he couldn't lose her. 

The FaceTime ringing echoed in the little back lot they were sitting in and within a couple of seconds, Theo was on the screen smiling. Tony held the phone so he and Eva could be seen. "Hey Tone, hey baby," he said gently, hoping to see Eva smile or laugh at least once today. The small girl's eyes went up to the screen and she gave the slightest idea of a smile. "Hey Theo, I miss you." She really did, more then ever. She wanted to hold him and laugh with him and try to forget how badly her past was hurting her. "I miss you too, E. But, we're almost there. Are the boys driving you crazy?" Eva chuckled a little, not one of the fake ones either; it was real and made both Tony and Theo smile. "Most of them," she answered while looking over to Tony and nudging him with her elbow. 

"What did you have for breakfast?" Theo asked cautiously. He always made sure she had eaten, and if she hadn't, then always told her how much it meant to him if she did. It came across as slightly overbearing to Eva, but she understood the concern. In reality, she was getting back up to a healthy weight and eating was a lot easier for her, but on bad days she still couldn't unless pushed endlessly. "I haven't eaten yet. I just got up." Tony looked at his phone and saw that it was 12 pm which was really late for Eva to sleep on most days. "But I will, Theo. I promise." Theo smiled. "Thank you, babe. I love you. And thank you for staying with her Tony." The guitar player smiled and nodded before giving the phone to Eva to hold as she said goodbye. "I love you too. Talk to you later." With that, the call had ended. 

"Okay E. Let's go get you something to eat. What do you want? Do you want to go somewhere and eat or stay here?" Eva hadn't left the bus to go anywhere other then outside in a few days. "I guess go somewhere." The guitarist nodded and scooped her up from the ground before placing her on the stairs of the bus. Eva walked towards the back and got dressed into leggings and a crew shirt for Panic!, a cardigan topping it off. She didn't even bother with a mirror, knowing she'd be too upset with how she looked to leave the bus after. Tony was writing a note for Brendon as she walked out. They were all around town and he offered to stay back with her. "Ready, darling?" Eva nodded and wearily smiled. "Then let's go!" 

They made their way down the road and into a small diner. Eva ordered coffee and basically glared at the menu. She didn't want to eat, it took too much out of her and she didn't have much left to give. "Fruit salad, toast, and eggs please," she said as kindly as she could muster. The waitress nodded and smiled before grabbing the menus and walking off. "I'm getting so tired of this," Eva said while playing with her hair and staring out the window. It caught Tony a little off guard but he wanted her to talk about this. "I can't have multiple good days in a row. Every other day I wake up and back to where I was in that stupid parking lot with that fucking pill bottle." Tony sighed and took her hand that was sitting on the table top. 

"It takes time, okay? I know it's frustrating, and that you have to go through ten different kinds of recovering at once, but it's going to be okay. Darling, you'll be okay." Eva smiled a little at the sentiment. "You guys need a new song to quote over and over again. That one's getting boring," she giggled. Tony laughed too while shaking his head. "I'll get on that right away." The two sat there and ate in a comfortable silence. After about thirty minutes, Eva had only eaten the fruit and picked at the eggs. "Come on, E. One bite of toast and most of the eggs at least." The girl looked up to Tony and saw in his eyes how much her hurting herself was hurting him. She nodded and picked up the bread, taking two bites just to make Tony happier quickly and sipped at her coffee before picking up slightly more on her fork then she was of the eggs sitting on her plate. Fifteen minutes later, most of the food was gone and Eva was exhausted. "Thank you, sweetie. That's all I needed." She smiled at Tony and he gave her a ride on his back to go back to the buses. As Eva sat with the guitarist as he played video games in the lounge, she felt slightly better then she had on her bad days. Maybe things really were turning around. Being with Tony always made it better. He was becoming her older brother in a way, always making sure Theo was treating her right and that, most importantly, she was treating herself right. 

As the level Tony was on finished, Eva looked up and over to him. "Hey Tone?" she asked quietly. He hummed a response before turning his head and looking down. "I love you, thank you for everything." A huge smile grew on his face as he picked Eva up and put her in his lap. "I love you too, E. I'd do anything to make sure you're okay." The girl nodded and hugged him as Tony continued to play video games around her frame. Things were truly starting to look up.