The Cursed Heart | BTS Fantasy AU [EDITING]

Chapter 56: The Poet

September 8, 2018

     It's been a week. I haven't seen and talked to Elira for a week. But that didn't stop me from writing and sending her poems. I wanted her to know my feelings are real.

I know what I did was wrong, I know that I should've told her I knew from the very start, but I didn't. It's my fault.

Even though Chad, Ninurta, Javier and even Sigmund didn't allow me to see Elira, I still went to her castle every day to deliver the poems myself. Hoping I'd see her even for a moment, but with everyone on Elira's side. I never get to see her.

     "You're here again," Javier said as he saw me coming in the castle, "Kirstein," he said and Kirstein quickly flew up to Elira's bedroom.

"I'm not giving up," I said as I tried to walk past him and he blocked me, "Just for a moment, please."

"That's not for me to decide," he said standing firm in front of the staircase.

"Fine, can you at least give this to her?" I said handing him the poem.

He nodded, about to take it when Kirstein came back and whispered something, "What?"

Javier looked at Kirstein who just nodded, "Alright."

"I think it's better you give it to her," he said and I couldn't help but smile.

     We walked towards Elira's bedroom together.

      I approached the bedroom, Chad and Ninurta were at her door, "She said that she wants you to read out your poem this time and leave right after," Ninurta said and I nodded.

Ninurta looked at Chad who reluctantly opened the door for me, "Thanks."

I walk in to see Elira standing her back facing me, "I'm so happy that you –" she held her hand up.

"Right, I'm sorry," I said.

"Just read the poem," she said. Her voice was cold, but I was happy to hear her voice.

     I took in a deep breath and unfolded the paper. I start to read aloud.

     "Feeling like I'm breathing my last breath

Feeling like I'm walking my last steps

Look at all of these tears I've wept

Look at all the promises that I've kept

I put my heart into your hands

Here's my soul to keep

I let you in with all that I can

You're not hard to reach

And you've blessed me with the best gift

That I've ever known

You give me purpose,"

     "Place it on the desk," she pointed at the desk still not looking at me.

I carefully walk towards the desk and I could see her face from the side, "You can leave now."

I deserved it the cold shoulder she was giving me, but it hurt. I walk slowly, wanting to savor a few more moments being in the same room as her, I reach the door and turn around to look she was still standing in the same spot, "I miss you," nothing she didn't move from her spot.

"I'm sorry," I said leaving her bedroom.

Ninurta, Chad, Sigmund, and Javier all escort me out of the castle, "I think its best you don't come for a while," Sigmund said walking me to the castle's gate.

"I know, but promise me something," I said getting up on my horse, "Tell me if anything happens?"

Sigmund nodded, "But we'll make sure nothing does."

"I hope so too," I give him a tight smile and patted my horse to move.

*

     I couldn't just go back home, I needed to see her. I went to the realm, to at least see her through Crystal Lake.

Maybe I shouldn't because spying on her was what got me in this predicament in the first place. But could I really cause more damage wanting to see her in the only way I can?

No matter what happened in the elf or human realm, it was always the same in this realm, peaceful.

Walking towards the lake it instantly shows me Elira, and she was crying.

I caused that, I did that, I was the reason she was crying. I go on my knees looking at her cry in her room all alone. Elira I'm sorry.

I reach my hand out to her reflection and the water ripples until it's steady again. I continue to watch her, she was starting to throw things across the room. What have I done? She screamed and shouted, Chad and Ninurta ran in the room, trying to calm her down.

My own tears form as I watch her so broken. Elira I didn't mean to do this. Just watching her in so much pain, what more if I could hear her cries? Why couldn't I do anything right?

Was there a time I made her happy? If there was I didn't remember. Suddenly the scene changes to the memories I made with her for the past months.

She was smiling, she was laughing, and she was happy; she was with me.

Did I do that?

The scene changes and shows Elira crying in her bed, she stared at her ring as it glowed, mine glowed as well. There's still a chance, we're still connected.

Will she ever forgive me? Will I ever forgive myself?

Will our sufferings ever end?

What if, I wasn't the one she was meant to be with? What if, it was Tristan? What if, it was Selwyn? What if, it was someone else?

Would I let her go? Should I let her go?

Everything that I've done to help her love me, to show her I truly cared, was it all in vain?

Was she right? Was I a liar? Were my feelings not true?

There has to be something I could do, I'm not giving up, I can't, I won't. I love Elira, I love her that it hurts seeing her like this.

    "Elira, I promised you that I won't let you regret loving me, I plan to fulfill that. So please, give me another chance,"

A/N: Any Jilira shippers out there? Come on your boi needs some cheering!