Recapturing You [RCS#1]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 12

Nᴏ, ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs

Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang sa maikling panahon, nahumaling ako sa isang gagong lalaki. Hindi lang nahumaling, nahulog! At sa isang iglap, nabigo ako. The other day had been so fine. It had been so magical... the way he stared at me, the way he held me and the way he let me do the things I wanna do with him! Akala ko pa naman may improvement na sa pagsasama namin. Assuming too much was indeed painful!

"Miss Demeter? Dinner na po!" katok ni Mary sa labas ng kwarto.

Pang-ilang balik niya na 'yan! Naiirita na ako.

"I said I don't want to eat! Leave me alone!" I shouted as I dipped my head over the soft pillows.

When that painful scene invaded my mind again, I started whimpering like a fool.

How dare he hurt me like that!

Tapos sasawayin niya pa ako na minura ko siya? Bastard! You couldn't expect me to be gentle to you! Ano 'yon, matapos marinig ang pang-iinsulto mo maglalambing pa rin ako? Hibang ka, Hrothgar!

His words lingered in me almost every second! Kaya naman mas tumitibay ang desisyon kong hindi lumabas ng kwarto. Kahit na kating-kati na ang paa kong puntahan siya, masilayan, at marinig ang boses, pinigilan ko ang sarili. I'd keep whatever was left on my damn pride!

Kahit si Lily nag-aalala na rin sa'kin. She tried to talk to me plenty of times, but she always failed because I kept the door of my room locked. Magpapahatid lang ako ng pagkain kapag talagang nagugutom na 'ko. It was funny how I was punishing myself just because of the person who never cared about me.

I didn't wanna talk to anybody right now. I only wanted to be alone and cry until I felt better. O bubuti pa nga ba ang pakiramdam ko? I was just glad that my sister wasn't not that naggy. Kapag sabihin ko kasing gusto kong mapag-isa, hinahayaan niya ako.

Muling napunta kay Hrothgar ang pag-iisip ko.

Sige, binalikan niya nga ako sa mga kakahuyan sa Tanawan. Yet, it was all because I was his responsibility. Siya ang nagyaya sa'kin at pagbalik nila wala na silang kasamang Demeter? Siguradong kargo niya 'yon.

Kahit mahirap at mukhang imposible, gusto ko na siyang kalimutan. I'd make sure I'd look fine and unaffected once I got to see him again! Oh well, I didn't wanna see him! Siguro hindi na nga talaga matatanggal ang galit ko sa kanya. Hindi ko akalaing nagpakatanga ako nang husto para lang sa isang gagong tulad niya.

I chased him like crazy, I couldn't believe it.

Eh 'di magsama sila ng Nelly na 'yon! I wouldn't give a fuck! So what kung ayaw niya sa mas bata? So what if he chose Nelly over me?

Kakalimutan kita. I wouldn't ever lay my precious eyes on you again!

For weeks of imprisoning myself in my room, I realized that he wasn't worth crying for! Nagpakabaliw na ako. Tama na ang isa. I should make myself even better. Kapag hayaan ko ang sariling malusyang dahil sa kamumukmok, matatalo lang ako.

"Shit... look at those black eyebags!" bulalas ko nang pagmasdan ang sarili sa salamin.

Nangayat din ako. Kulang na lang maging bungo na ang mukha ko!

"Mary, kunan mo nga ako ng pipino! And any other foods that could help me regain my weight!"

Enjoying the afternoon alone by lounging on the pool was truly relaxing. Wala si Lily dahil namamasyal na naman. Nitong mga nakaraang araw, hindi na rin dumalaw si Thrym. Was he in Manila? Kasi kung nandito 'yon siguradong pupunta 'yon dito.

"Miss, tumatawag po si Sir Calvin, gusto kang kausapin."

Naningkit agad ang mata ko. Alam kong aasarin lang ako n'on. My sister had a conversation with him last night and perhaps... no... I was certain they talked about me! Lily must have mentioned my weird attitude these past few days.