Disaster(Sequel to Tragedy)

Chapter 7: Lost Feelings

Billie's POV

I didn't go back to the apartment. I stayed at the beach. Not moving. Not knowing what to do. Bandit hates me.

Okay? That should mean I can get on with my relationship and not feel guilty. That should mean her and I are the past. But I don't have any relief.

What'd I do? Who am I? My vision is hazy from smoking weed and my mental stability is done. I sat on the beach until the sun went down. I intend on staying here until the sun comes back up.

I'm an awful boyfriend is a for sure thing. I broke up with Bandit by ignoring her. And now she's back and I have a girlfriend and I feel all my feelings threatening to spill out of me and flood the whole damn world.

I heard a car pull up. I turned around and saw Adrienne. She got out and ran over to me. "Billie I was so worried," she was breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry, I just lost track of time," I mumbled.

"Lost track? You left around nine this morning and it's eleven o'clock at night," she said.

"We were supposed to go to Gilman, shit I'm sorry," I touched her hand and kept my fingers on hers.

"That's fine I just wish I knew where you were and Mike came over..." she shook her head.

"What'd he say?" I asked.

"He wanted to talk to you about 'Bandit'?" She questioned.

"Well I talked to Bandit earlier and Mike should mind his own business," I looked back out at the waves that I've been staring at all day.

"Billie who is Bandit?" She asked.

"She..." she's everything, "she was my best friend and is my ex girlfriend."

"Oh?" Her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"She moved away for a while and then she cane back because her mom has some shit going on. It was a good relationship but it ended," I shrugged trying to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal.

"Oh, so..." she nodded.

"It's over Addie. You don't need to worry about anything. Her and I talked because we just needed to clear some things up," I assured her.

"Okay," she said. "Come on, let's go home." She grasped my hand tighter and we walked to her car. I can't believe I walked here this morning.

Bandit's POV

I sat in my room crying like a baby. I ran out of cigarettes, I ran out of patience, I ran out of happiness. Billie officially broke my heart. John made it clear I'm not allowed to leave again and made it clear I'm not allowed to go downstairs without getting yelled at. I'm a mess.

I threw the clothes Billie left at my house into a box and contemplated burning it. The one special song I wrote for him I ripped from my notebook, crumpled it, and threw it somewhere in my room. I'm not even going to bother with the pictures. And the record, I ignored the record. I would never harm a good record, even if it is about my previous relationship that just crushed me.

What the hell happened to Billie. He was always pretty open about his emotions to me. It seemed like he was trying but he was being very cryptic. Does he have any anymore? What the fuck happened? That 'no secrets' pact did not last at all.

I went into my bathroom and grabbed my leg razor. I stared at it. I could just take it apart and let myself slice away. Or I could keep my promises. I stared at it, how does a small piece of metal have so much authority.

I threw it on the ground and let my other addiction take over. I grabbed ten dollars from my little wallet and went down my ladder. I walked through the chilly night and went to the gas station. The usual worker was there reading a magazine.

"It's been a while since you've been around," he said.

"Yeah, I went to live with my dad for a while," I told him.

"Well, here," he put my usual pack on the table. I began to pull out my money from my pocket, "consider it a welcome back gift."

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Anytime," he nodded. I grabbed the cigarettes and left. At least something went well today.

I immediately took one out and pushed it between my lips. I pulled out my lighter and began smoking it. The cloud trailed behind me as I walked home. I can't believe this piece of shit is my home. I climbed back up to my room and let the rest of the smoke go out the window.

Everything I used to do here I did with Billie. I'm going to feel lonely all the damn time now. I'm never having another boyfriend, I can't take the aftermath.