Sarange rising.

Sam Shepard Dies.

* 31st of July, 2017*

Susan was still in bed, laughing over cat and baby videos on YouTube, it was still early in the morning. She loves waking up early, watching the dawn but this day was different, she knew it deep inside. 

Last time she spoke to Jessica was 6 days ago, she wasn't so good and as much as she wanted to be next to her she shut her out. She wouldn't answer her calls and of course, Susan accepted it. She knew how things were with Sam, he wasn't so good these days. She made her promise that if she needs anything she'll call her,  even if it is late at night or early in the morning. 

Jessica always had her ups and downs and when she was feeling blue... well, no one could talk to her. It was like she was a whole different person. Maybe Susan was a little scared of that version of her. 

Susan wasn't so good too, she wouldn't go out or talk to anyone, it was like she had constantly a knot on her stomach that wouldn't go away. The only time she would go out was to walk her dogs. Her kids were coming over but they couldn't ask her to go out. 

"Maybe it's an excuse, maybe she wants to stay away from me" she was thinking but then again she couldn't let herself think like that "You know how she could be, it's not your fault Susan". She was blocking the bad thoughts. 

She closed her phone and looked out, the view was the only thing that could relax her. She closed her eyes and sighed, she was thinking to get dressed and go to Jessica's house "But what if she doesn't want me there?" "Oh come on, we live so close to each other it's ridiculous that we haven't spoken for six days!" 

The thoughts were so loud in her head, she couldn't take it anymore. All she wanted was to see her, see if she's okay. She checked the time. 8:45 am. Time was flying by so fast. She opened her phone and scrolled down Twitter's feed. Her eyes widened and her breathing stopped. 

<<Sam Shepard, Actor and Pulitzer - Winning  Playwright, Is Dead at 73>> 

<<A spokesman for his family announced the death on Monday, saying the cause was complications of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig's disease.>> 

<<Sam Sherard died on 27th of July,  one of the most important and influential writers of his generation, specialized in capturing the darker sides of American family life.>> 

"SHIT!" Susan said and threw her phone away, she got dressed as fast as she could, not caring about the time, and walked out of her apartment. As she was walking she kept thinking about what to say, how could she make her feel a little better? And most importantly, Is she home? Maybe she left for Kentucky to be with her family, could she go and not tell her? 

She walked inside Jessica's building and into the elevator. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, the last thing she wanted was Jessica to see her sadness. She walked outside her door and took a moment. Her heart was beating like crazy, she felt that she could collapse any minute. The worst scenario she opens, sees her and closes the door, but why would she do that? 

Susan inhaled and knocked the door, she was afraid that she might cry in front of her but she had to be strong. For her. Susan more than anyone knew how it is to lose someone you love. She lost her brother so she knows what to tell her. 

She kept thinking all this but when Jessica opened the door she wasn't able to talk. She looked at her. Her eyes turned red from crying, her hair a mess, Jessica leaned on the door and looked at her, she was holding a glass of VODKA. Anyone could tell that she wasn't sleeping all these days. 

"Jess..." 

Jessica didn't say a word, she smiled while tears were falling down. She opened wide the door for Susan to walk in and went into the living room in order to fill her glass. 

When Susan got in she closed the door and followed the other woman. Her apartment was stinking of alcohol and smoke. 

It was the first time Jessica would let anyone see her like that, she cares about her image, she doesn't trust people easily but once she does then it's like they're family. She filled her glass and fell into the couch throwing her head back. 

Susan was out of words, all the preparation she made about what to say didn't come in handy. Seeing her like that so early in the morning was heartbreaking. She was staring at her as she was trying to light up her cigarette.