Sarange rising.

Everything's fine.

WRITER'S NOTE: Hello there, I just wanted to thank you all for reading the story. I'm new so I'm trying really hard to get better and also write the stories as realistic as I can. I mean... they could be together, right? 😌Or maybe I know in fact that they are together... who knows?! Let YOUR imagination fly. So, thank you all once again for liking and commenting and for those who ship Jessica and Sarah, the next part is a Sassica flashback. Hang on and if you wanna suggest anything feel free to do it. Sarange is rising ✌️. Enjoy the part. 

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They both walked inside, Jessica took a seat on the couch and Susan went to fix her something to drink. 

"I'm Jessica, nice to meet you," Jessica said and smiled at Susan's friends.

"We know who you are, Jessica Lange," her friends said laughing making Jessica chuckle. 

"I'm Clayton, nice to meet you too" 

"And I'm Alison," she said and stood up. "It was so nice meeting you but I've got to go" 

Susan hanged the glass to Jessica and looked at her friend "You're leaving?" 

"Yeah, I've got to wake up really early in the morning" 

"Alright then" Susan escorted her to the door "We should do it again" 

"Of course," she said and kissed her goodbye. 

Once she was out Susan sat across Jessica, she took a sip of her drink and stared at it. 

"So you two are together?" Clayton's voice woke her up. Susan didn't reply she let it all up to Jessica. 

"We are," Jessica said and smiled as she lighted up a cigarette. 

"You should've said it to me, Sue" 

"We wanted to keep it private" 

"Oh, yes, I understand. Well, you two are a great match!" 

Susan was trying to play it tough, she hid her smile by putting her glass in front of her face. Jessica noticed it and chuckled. 

"I guess we are, aren't we?" she said laughing. 

"You really are! So when's the wedding?" He said and they all burst into laughter.

They continued talking for at least two hours, Jessica asked about the trade center and he showed her some photos he took. He talked about himself and that he's a photographer so they talked mostly about that. Susan showed him one of Jessica's books she had and he was thrilled. Susan wasn't talking this whole time but she was glad to see how many things Jessica had in common with him. Jessica was talking about photography like it was one of her children, her eyes were filled with happiness and Susan was sitting back observing the way her lover talked. When they had nothing else to say, Clayton decided to take off. He suggested that the next time they'll meet, Jessica should join them. He said goodbye and walked out of the apartment. 

Susan stood up and started cleaning her apartment, it was noticeable that she was still angry so Jessica took her drink and followed her in the kitchen where she stood behind the counter, while Susan was washing the glasses. 

"That was fun" 

"Yeah?" 

"Yes. I really like him" 

"He seemed to like you too" 

"Can we talk now?" 

Susan stopped and looked at her "I don't think I have anything else to say, Jessica" 

"Alright" Jessica placed her glass into the sink, her face was buried into Susan's neck in order to reach for the sink, giving goosebumps to Susan who closed her eyes trying really hard not to kiss her.

"Do you need time? That's what you want?" Jessica whispered in her ear "Because if that's it I'm wheeling to give it to you and I want to spend time with you, I told you then and I'm just gonna say it again. I shouldn't flip out the way I did. I'm sorry. I don't wanna lose you, Sue. I can't." she said and started placing kisses on Susan's neck. Susan was biting her lips, she wanted to stop her but she couldn't. Her body got too weak. Jessica kissed and licked Susan's ear, moving back to change side when Susan finally stopped her and turned around to see her, grabbing her with force. Jessica let out a scream and Susan realized she hurt her. 

"Look, I don't want you to be sorry! What happened, happened and I finally realized how you feel about me! All I ever wanted was to spend time with you but clearly, you think that by spending time with me you are losing your family. Can you understand how that makes me feel right now?" 

Jessica didn't say anything, she was looking at her. 

"I know that you're not good, I can see that. I'm seeing it every day but I thought with me you would be different, I'm really trying to give you everything! I never wanted anything more than for you to be happy" 

"What could it take for you to forgive me? " 

Susan leaned her head forward trying to relax 

"Are you still mad at me?" 

"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad with myself" 

"Why?" 

"Because I can't stand seeing you cry! God... just go, would you?"

"No, I won't. Why are you acting like this?" 

"Because I fucking love you that's why! Because there's not even a single fucking day that I'm not thinking about you, your voice, your face, the way you talk, the way you touch your neck! I'm crazy about you and I thought you were feeling the same way"

"But I do... I do feel the same way" 

"Then for fuck's sake prove it to me! Prove me I'm wrong for believing that in this relationship I'm the only one who's trying!" 

Jessica started yelling "What do you want me to do? I said I'm sorry about yesterday!"

"You think that's my problem? Because of what happened yesterday?" 

"You didn't say a thing how am I supposed to know what's your problem if you're not talking for Christ's sake?!" 

"My problem is that I'm always there when you need me but you're not here when I need you!" 

"That is not true!" 

"Really? Not true? Explain to me why you left for Minnesota when I told you that we could spend Christmas together? You said you came back because you had things to do and I was thinking that you missed me! You went to this fucking trip on my birthday! " 

"But you said you didn't mind... that it was alright and that you had to work" 

"What else could I say? I knew you were going through a grieving process and I wanted you to relax! See! That's what I'm talking about, I'm always putting you at the top, I care about you more than I care about my own self and look where it got me! Back then you said you needed some "alone time" maybe that's what you need now! Maybe we should end this. Go home, Jessica" 

"No! I'm not leaving!" Jessica was tearing up "Yes, I went away and yes, I left you here alone but you know why? Because I didn't want you to see me the way I was, I didn't want to ruin your birthday! You think you've seen the worst me well, you are wrong! I may be irritable, I may be not the best person to be around but I never was selfish! When I need to spend some time alone I don't leave because I don't wanna be with you, I'm leaving because I can't let you see me like that" 

Susan was now calmer "I was there when Sam died, I was there the whole time from the first day until the last one and all I wanted was to help you. All I want is to help you but I can't do it if you keep shutting me down" 

"I'm tired of doing this... I don't wanna fight anymore. It wasn't just Sam's death it was a bit of me that died with him. I wasn't grieving about him, I was grieving about me and how my life is gonna be from now on.  I get it if you don't want to be with me, I wouldn't want to be with me either, to be honest. But before leaving I just wanna say that I didn't come back from Minnesota because I had things to do, I came back to see you and you know what? You're right. It is indeed cruel not receiving half of what you're giving, I know it because I lived like that for 30 years and you know where it got me? Not be able to trust people and ending up alone" 

"You don't trust me?" 

"It took me a while but I do trust you now and thank you for showing me how it is to live like that" 

Susan didn't say anything, what could she say. She didn't want for their relationship to end like that but she couldn't be the one who would step back. Jessica was looking at her. 

"Just tell me one thing, when you're saying that you love me... you mean it?" 

"What about you?" 

"I would do anything for you, Sue... I would lose everything."