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It had been a month since all that shit went down with Seriyah and Ashley. Life's been tough I can't lie. I've been fucking around with the both of them. I legit like two females at the same time and I can't decide who I want more.
I was already actively having sex with Seriyah and I didn't want to sleep with both of them at the same time so I choose only to sleep with her. Ashley be wanting it sometimes but I decline or just please her another way.. it's fucked up but that's just my life right now and I kinda love it. I know I'm not being fair to their feelings but all of my feelings are fucked up.
When the whole thing with Ashley happened I stayed with her for about 2 days straight and we just talked non stop. Not no funny business at all, but it was just how we were when we first met.
I cried with her for the first time as we bonded about out baby we lost. Although it weren't something I was looking for I would've been cool having a little me around but I guess it just wasn't in God's plan for us. After that talk I just felt a bit better and the way she comforted me that day just showed me I was being fucked up to her.
Me and Ashley break up a lot in our relationship, it weren't nothing new. I should've at least gave it some time before I was prancing around happily with some girl but, I couldn't help it. I don't understand how 1 girl can fuck me up like this.
I can't leave Seriyah alone.
Seriyah is everything. I duno if it's her personality, Her Beauty or her pussy but all 3 combined were killing me. I loved her attitude and I love being around her. I try spend all my time with her so she don't get suspicious about the Ashley stuff but I don't know how long that's gonna be working for.
But, I literally can't leave her alone. I've tried to talk myself out of liking her but it weren't possible. We just had this vibe I couldn't explain. Like you know that feeling you get when you meet someone and feel like you've known them your whole life? Or when you just have this energy and you know their the one? Yeah...
That's exactly how I feel about Seriyah, it's like we're meant to be but somethings not allowing it. I don't know if it means something or what but I'm not sure what to do.
I can't break up with her, although we're not together and I am still single it's like me and Seriyah are getting to that point and I duno what to do. She's always at my house with me and if I'm not with Ashley or something I'm with her. I couldn't get enough of my baby.
Ever since that chat me and Ashley had though I just started to see shit different. Like I know what I was about to do would've fucked up Ashley differently.
This girl was my other half for about 3 years, she got pregnant and was having problems with her family and I which caused her to lose the baby. I feel like pure shit cause I know around that time my mind was thinking of ways to not deal with what I was feeling and Seriyah helped.
