"Hi guys!"
Sam eyes their overly enthusiastic waiter warily, that is until he spots the guy's bulge. It's difficult to miss, his crotch being nearly at their eye height as they gaze at their menus. His eyebrows slowly raise as he takes in the outline, shape and, fuck, the size of him, until he finally realises that he's being rude and reluctantly looks up to see the waiters expectant look.
"Know what you'd like?" The waiter asks, his pen poised at the ready to take their orders.
Sam knows exactly what Corey would be saying and how he'd be acting if he were here right now. Instead, the slightly pudgy, balding guy that the computer matched him up with, number 29 if he's remembered right from the other night, goes for the boring response of an actual order, although he too has noticed it from his hesitation and slightly croaky voice. Then again, he'd have to be blind not to.
"Um, I'll have bacon cheeseburger, medium hot chips and a Coke."
Stammering Sam lowers his eyes to his menu which is conveniently at bulge height and once again can't take his eyes off of it, "And I'll er, have er, the tuna melt and er, I'll, I'll have water."
"Oh come on, live a little! I can tell you've been denying yourself for way too long."
Sam decides to play the flirting game that his date is obviously trying to start, "Alright, give me what he's having!"
"Coming right up."
Both Sam and his date watch the waiter's very cute, very rounded butt disappear off around the corner to the kitchens.
"He has a nice smile."
"Among other attributes," concedes Sam.
"I'm sure he's a fine person...You know ordinarily I'd be racking my brain for some kind of pathetic line for when he comes back, like 'I haven't seen you before, are you new?'"
"Or 'Do I know you from somewhere? No? Must be in a dream!'" Sam agrees.
"So, when did they start hiring models here?"
"You're worse than I am! You want me to go to the men's room so you can take a crack at him?" Sam asks, there's no way he'd be able to bag the waiter but, generous to a fault, he would never deny anyone else.
"Oh god no! Never worked anyway. All that useless flirting! I have a confession to make, I didn't go to Date Bait to drum up people to come to our concert. I was hoping I would find someone I can connect to."
"Someone appropriate?" Sam asks. It sounds like such a boring word and Sam can only suspect what Michael would come out with were he here, but after his recent near death experience, appropriate is about the best he going for.
"Exactly, someone...appropriate."
"Well, I say let's get to know each other and see what happens," grins Sam, deciding on a whim to put all his faith in the computer that matched them up.
"Take it slow," agrees his date, "I always preferred andante to presto anyway."
The waiter reappears with two Coke's in his hands placing them on the table, "Here you go boys, these'll help cool you down."
Sam gropes for the glass, never taking his eyes off the guy's ass, and slurps his Coke noisily through his straw trying to take his mind out of the gutter that it's currently residing in.
~~~
Calum has a huge smile on his face as he leans on the weight machine looking down at Corey as he works on his legs, he's thoroughly enjoying himself as he regales them with his tales of last night's antics, "Twenty seven minutes on my nipples, I counted! I mean, I expected him to know what to do with his hands since that's his business. But he has the most talented tongue. Every time I came..."
"Every time?" chorus Corey and Sam, both stopping their exercising at the same time, enthralled with Calum's story.
"He would just keep on going, licking me...everywhere," Calum drops his voice, his meaning perfectly clear to his friends.
"I once knew a guy who could tie a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue," Corey confides, "I was afraid to let him blow me."
"Twenty seven minutes? Is that thirteen and a half on each nipple? Or...?" enquires Sam.
"Sixteen right, eleven left." Calum confirms, grinning round at him.
"Yeah, that's probably how long it takes him to get it up!" Michael offers, less than impressed that Calum had what sounds like the best sex of his life.
"I wouldn't know. I never saw it when it was down!" leers Calum, wiggling his eyebrows which Michael ignores.
"Another Viagra success story," Michael's caustic tone isn't lost on Calum but he ignores it.
"So are you bringing him to the Sly Fox tonight?" asks Corey, eager to meet this chiropractor of Calum's.
"He's not really into the bar scene."
"Well, what is he into?" asks Michael, dropping his weights with a clang
"His life?" offers Calum sarcastically.
"Like the guy I met..." calls Sam.
"You met someone?"Corey asks, surprised. Not at that Date Bait night surely?
"He's very nice. He's very interesting."
"Is he a top or a bottom?" asks Michael.
"You know not everyone judges people by your criteria okay?" Sam counters, suddenly riled up. "Roger and I..."
"Roger?!" Corey's voice goes up several notches, he bets he doesn't 'roger' anything. There was no-one vaguely interesting in that room, and he knows Sam's tastes too. He's deluded if he thinks he's going to get a meaningful relationship out of this.
"Roger and I..." Sam continues undaunted, "Roger and I have decided to get to know each other before we have sex."
Michael looks totally confused, "Who do you think you are? Lesbians? You know, you do it right away or you don't do it at all. I'm happy for you Cal," Michael says before heading to the sauna.
"The fuck he is," Sam mutters to Corey out of the side of his mouth.
YOU ARE READING
Queer as Muke
Fanfiction"The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact they say men think about sex every twenty-eight seconds. Of course that's straight men. With gay men it's every nine." Twenty nine year old advertising executive Michael Cliffor...
