"I whipped you up a little snack!" Stephen announces, arriving into the bedroom with a plate of pasta, a pepper grinder and a fork in his hands.
Calum looks up from his comic, instantly appreciating not only the delicious smell, but also the sight of Stephen wearing nothing but an incredibly short apron around his waist that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. "A little snack is a handful of Cheerios!"
"I'm all out of Cheerios! This is some penne, a little sun dried tomato and white wine cream sauce...and a woody little Merlot," Stephen grins as he produces a wine bottle and two glasses out of his apron pocket.
"Ow! It's hot! I burnt my tongue!" Calum exclaims, sticking his tongue out to cool it down before gulping on some Merlot.
"Well, let me cool it down for you..." Stephen leans in, kissing Calum's lips gently.
"That better not be who I think it is..." Stephen says, sitting up again with a sigh when Calum's phone goes off.
"It's Sam!" Calum whispers.
"Hey am I disturbing you?" Sam asks from the comfort of his darkened bedroom where he's lying surrounded by used tissues.
"Well..." Calum holds the phone in the crook of his neck as he pulls on the cords holding Stephens apron around his waist.
"So I'm lying in bed..." Sam carries on, not having waited for an answer. "Watching this porno film. It's terrible, these two guys are fucking and eating pasta at the same time, like anyone would actually do that."
Calum listens, his eyes and eyebrows flicking up to look at Stephen above him, "Uh, huh..."
"When Michael calls..."
"Uh oh!" Stephen says wiggling his eyebrows playfully, as Calum pulls the apron away from his waist, dropping it to the floor.
"...I think he's kind of freaking out..."
"Freaking out?" Calum asks, his hand stopping in mid air.
"Yeah, he wanted me to tell him as his accountant how long he could go without a job."
"And what did you tell him?"
"The way he spends money? Two months, tops."
"And what did he say?"
Sam speaks slowly and clearly so that Calum's left in no doubt as to his meaning, "He thanked me very much for being such a wonderful and compassionate friend."
"Holy shit he is freaking out!" Calum instantly sits up, all thoughts of eating pasta off Stephen's washboard stomach wiped from his mind. "I'll call you later!"
"What's the matter?" Stephen asks as Calum speed dials.
"It's Michael, I've got to call him! Stephen!" He cries as Stephen takes the phone off him. "You don't understand! He's going to go broke, he's going to lose his job!"
"No, you don't understand! We're not going to have a relationship like Maddie and Geordie."
"Of course we're not, we're not lesbians!" Calum says, missing the point entirely as he grabs his phone back again.
YOU ARE READING
Queer as Muke
Fanfiction"The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact they say men think about sex every twenty-eight seconds. Of course that's straight men. With gay men it's every nine." Twenty nine year old advertising executive Michael Cliffor...
