Conference Call
Calum: Has anyone heard from Michael? I've been trying to reach him all day.
Luke: Me too. But he hasn't returned any of my calls.
Geordie: I hope he's alright.
Corey: I wonder how he condemned man is spending his final hours.
Sam: Doing penance...
Maddie: Drugs...
Calum: Doing as many guys as he can?
There's a pause.
Geordie, Luke, Sam, Corey, Maddie, Calum: Bingo!
Geordie: Maybe we shouldn't go through with this, he made it clear he doesn't want to be reminded.
Luke: He didn't even want me to mention it...
Calum: It could get ugly, really ugly.
Sam: Still...it is an event of historic proportion, like the moon landing or the fall of communism.
Maddie: It is our duty as friends to commemorate it.
Corey: And make sure he remembers it..........alwaaaaaays.
Geordie & Luke: *laugh*
~~~
"Michael?! Hellooooo in there!"
"Wake up sleepy head!"
"What are you doing here?" Michael croaks as he tries to focus his peephole eyes on Calum and Geordie, trying to drag himself out of his drug induced haze and the fact that he got to sleep an hour ago after banging multiple hot guys for nearly nine hours straight.
"You mean you haven't heard?"
"It's the last day of the rest of your life!"
Michael's face contorts in realisation that those are Maddie and Corey's voices, Jesus Christ are they ALL here?!
"Did I die?" he groans, burying his head in his bed again.
"No," Sam says decisively, peering over the top of Maddie and Calum at Michael in his bed. "But you'll wish you had! You're thirty!!!"
They all burst out laughing as Michael buries his head back in his pillow. Luke hops on his back, giving him a hug from behind.
"Go away!" he spits, trying to buck Luke off.
"Sorry Grandpa!" Luke whispers in his ear, grinning evilly as the rest of Michael's friends all gather around.
"I said go away!" Michael bucks harder under Luke, trying to push him off.
"No such luck!" Luke says, rolling off of his own accord.
"OH! CAREFUL!" Calum shouts as Michael starts rolling himself up in his duvet as fast as he can go. "HE BITES!"
As the rest of the friends scurry around trying to roll Michael back out again, Maddie throws them various items of his clothes so they can start to dress him, "Gucci! Prada! Armani! Jesus what a label queen!"
"Leave me alone!" Michael shouts, irritated to find he's been rolled out of the blanket and is now being sat up.
"Believe me Michael this is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts us!" Sam quips as Calum ties a blindfold around Michael's head.
"AaaaaRRGHHHHH!"
~~~
Michael blinks and shakes his head as Calum starts to untie his blindfold. Weird ass music enters his conciousness and he tries to place it. He pulls against the firm grip on his arms that Luke and Calum have had all the way in the car right up until this point, until he stops fighting and wriggling against them when he realises where he is, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.
YOU ARE READING
Queer as Muke
Fanfiction"The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact they say men think about sex every twenty-eight seconds. Of course that's straight men. With gay men it's every nine." Twenty nine year old advertising executive Michael Cliffor...
