Spirit Animals Oneshots

Conor x Rollan - Love, Love, Love

A/N -
Spoilers for the second series but I don't follow the plot exactly.
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Conor's PoV -

What do you do when you have a crush on your best friend? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! That's the answer.

From the moment I met Rollan, I knew I had a crush on him. He was beautiful and hot! But I knew I couldn't fall for him that could jeopardize our whole mission and people would probably think less of me if I revealed the truth about myself. So day after day I went on admiring Rollan from afar and wishing that he would flirt with me the same way he flirts with Meilin.

     I guess my feelings for Rollan didn't completely manifest my emotions till after the second Great War. He had kissed Meilin by then and I was completely jealous. I didn't wish any harm to Meilin because she was still one of my best friends but I did wish that Rollan could maybe change his mind. Of course I didn't even know if Rollan was bi or not and he didn't even know that I was gay. I hadn't ever told anyone my deepest secret. Not even my family or Abeke.

     Even as the Wyrm was slowly corrupting me I watched Rollan give Meilin a final kiss as we departed into two groups to save Erdas yet again. I hated that feeling of resentment. I didn't even know if that was my thought or the Wyrm's influence.

     Time passed and it hurt to be away from Rollan for so long. Meilin felt the same way. We would often talk about Rollan but I had to pretend that I simply missed him as a friend.

The days only got harder. I missed the daylight, I missed my friends, I missed Erdas, and I didn't know if I could escape this with my life. I might never see Rollan or anything else that makes life worth it again. The Wyrm kept traveling farther and farther up my body. It was halfway up my arm now, making its way to my brain. Who knew what I would become when it reached that point?

Then one night while everyone else was asleep I got an idea. I could find my way back to Erdas. I would navigate the tunnels and see daylight again. More importantly, I could find Rollan again. Maybe... if I could do this all before the Wyrm took hold. It was a perfect plan, if I failed then I couldn't be a burden to anyone anymore. I'd be possed by the Wyrm and walk these tunnels alone till I fell off a cliff or something. But if I could survive I would see Rollan again and who knows after that. I'd still be posses and probably die but I'd have Rollan with me.

This idea was probably selfish, leaving Meilin down here with Xanthe but I knew I had to go through with my plan. So I checked to make sure Xanthe and Meilin were asleep and I silently walked off the way we came. There would be no way for them to follow me and by the time they woke I would be long gone anyway. Who knows, maybe they'll be glad I left them...

I found a glow mushroom and picked it so it would light my way. I walked and walked for hours, only stopping to take a drink from an underground stream or to eat one of the edible mushrooms. Once I was satisfied with the distance I covered I allowed myself to take a short nap.

I began my trek again when I woke. It was the same day in and day out as I walked. I knew I had to be getting close to the now caved in entrance. I hadn't quite planned that far ahead yet. Maybe I could pick my way through the rocks and into the sunlight above. The more and more I thought about my plan, the scarier it seemed. Even if I found my way to Rollan, it would only be a matter of days till the Wyrm took over. What would happen after that? What if I hurt Rollan? I didn't want to take that risk. If I hurt the person I loved most... I don't think I could live with myself anymore. Not that I would have to worry about that once the Wyrm most likely would kill me.