P.S. I Love You (Mashton)

Entry 9

Hey, kent.

So I spoke to Calum today about his little speculation that he's told Luke about, who then told Ashton. Meaning that Ashton might lowkey agree with him.

Here's how that conversation went-

vvvvvvv

I walked downstairs to get myself some breakfast. Ashton and Calum were in the kitchen, with Ashton making breakfast and Calum sitting at the table on his phone.

"Calum?" I requested, "a word?"

Calum looked momentarily panicked, but managed to control himself and seem unsuspiscious. I saw right through it though.

I took him into the livng room and he innocently looked at me, waiting for me to talk.

"So a little birdie told me that you're still thinking that I'm faking my relationship with Crystal," I stated, crossing my arms.

His face dropped.

"God-fucking-damnit, Luke!" He shouted.

"What?" Luke called back from upstairs.

Me and Calum ignored him and just continued talking.

"Actually, Ashton told me," I explained, "because Luke told him,"

"That's still his fault," he mumbled, sighing.

"Why are you gossiping about my relationship?" I asked, back to the matter at hand.

"It's just- it's not right. One moment, you're gay and in love with Ashton, and the next, you're straight and in a relationship with Crystal,"

"I've always been straight, Calum,"

"Your diary says otherwise,"

"Calum, I'm happy. Can't you accept that?"

"It just doesn't seem right to me,"

"This doesn't concern you anyway. Let me be happy, Calum,"

"You'd be happier with Ashton,"

"Why don't you get it, Cal? I'm not in love with Ashton!"

"I think you are,"

"Well you're wrong,"

"I don't think I am,"

I gave in and left the room, back into the kitchen. Ashton was still doing breakfast, and it seems that he didn't hear our conversation. Which is always good.

vvvvvvv

Later in the day, I realised that Calum may have mentioned the fact that he thinks (knows) that I love Ashton to Luke.

So I hunted Luke down and interviewed him.

He was with Calum, actually, so I just dragged Luke away and spoke to him. It seemed like Calum already knew what I was going to say.

Anyway, I dragged him into the other room-

vvvvvvv

"What's the matter, Mikey?" Luke asked.

"Apparently Calum told you that he thinks my relationship with Crystal is bullshit," I stated.

"Yeah, he did say that,"

"Did he say anything else about it?"

"No, he just said that it doesn't seem 'right', whatever that means," Luke shrugged.

"Are you buying into his bullshit?' I subtly asked.

"No. I don't know where any of this is coming from, but I just told him that I trust you, and even if  it was fake then I'm sure you had a good reason to fake one,"

"What does that mean?"

"I'm just saying that you have your reasons,"

"But the relationship is real, anyway. There are no reasons,"

"I know, but I'm saying that if there was one, then I know that you have your reasons,"

I didn't respond to him. I just stared at him quizzingly, trying to decipher his code. He smiled and patted my back before going back to the other room to continue his game with Calum.

vvvvvvv

I was thinking about this all day. He definately knows something, or at least suspects something.

Maybe he's starting to realise that I like penis, Ashton penis in particular.

Which isn't good. Because if Cake find out, then Ashton would somehow find out, and he's think I'm weird and gross and wouldn't want to be around me, which would lead to the band eventually breaking up and the fans being really fucking disappointed and upset.

Or, on the other hand, Ashton could secretly be in love with me too and we'd get married and live gayly ever after together.

But that's not happening any time soon, so the moral message of this entry is to hope for the best but expect and prepare for the worst.

On a cheery note, I bought new guitar picks. They're really fucking awesome. They're black (because I'm punk rock) with very small and sparse glitter covering it (because I'm gay).

And they were only 4.99. Nice.

Goodnight, Kent.

P.S I love you Ashton.