Thank You.. (Aaron x Reader) SLOW UPDATES!

A/N (Again ;-;)

I promise it won't be long and you don't have to read it if you don't want to. You can just ignore this and wait until the next part is out.

I think I need to point this out.

I finally told my best friend about some things.

Me feeling like I'm nothing and just feeling awful and crappy.

Surprisingly, he didn't turn away from me but instead supported me and I think that made me grow more and more fond of him. *Ahem* Feelings *Ahem*. Stupid Feelings..

Anyways, one thing I never told anyone now is that,

I throw up my food.

No, I don't have anorexia or bulimia or whatever eating disorder.

It's nothing serious.

It's just..

It gotten worse than I thought it would.

Once it was just me not eating because I didn't feel like I deserved it or I just wasn't hungry. At times I would be like, "Oh maybe I shouldn't eat I think I gained weight."

It wasn't as serious back then so I just left it to the side.

I guess I shouldn't have done that aha..

I skip meals a lot. Especially breakfast.

If I do eat something, then I throw it up as soon as possible.

It's not serious though so don't worry. ^^

The worse part about it is that I can't think of any positive thoughts about myself. It's hard to believe positive things said to me and all I do is bring myself down.

I still am sensitive and I cry too easily. I just decided to keep it to myself as much. Pushing it away I think fixed it for the most part.

I think?

I just hate crying and my heart aching so much. Emotionally, physically, whatever it is when I'm crying. Sometimes I have random headaches for no reason or just because I'm crying and it sucks.

I can't sleep at times because there's too much going on in my mind.

Whenever I look at a mirror all I can do is turn away, ashamed of myself, and negative thoughts come on.

Whenever I brush my teeth, I just turn away from the bathroom.

Sometimes I wake up randomly which is normal I guess and I can't go back to sleep.

I can't sleep in like I used to anymore for some weird reason. 

Whenever I read a book, I can't really concentrate as much anymore. Probably because there's too much going on in my brain.

And..

I need irl friends just because..

I'm clinging onto my best friend too much.

Sometimes he wants to sit next to his friend at lunch and I just say "Yeah sure!"

And..

I pretty much am alone. I have this friend but she's socializes a lot so we barely talk. So, whenever I sit a seat away from her, she offers me food (Which I turn down every single time) and sit the whole lunch time, thinking.

I don't know why it kinda upsets me that my best friend hangs out with his friend. What's the problem with that? Nothing!

And I feel kinda upset for some reason then I feel sad.

Why?

Ugh

If only making new friends was so easy..

Lots of people have friends and I'm too scared to just go up to some random people and talk to them. I don't have that confidence to do so.

I could read or draw during lunch time when I'm alone. Sit in the faraway table instead where no one will notice.

That actually could be fun.

I like being alone at times. Then I feel lonely..

I don't know why.

It sucks that I keep clinging onto G and I just hope he'll send me a message or want to video call.

And I hate it.

And sometimes that makes me feel like a bad friend for getting upset over something so small. I don't tell him that it bothers me that he's with another person.

Because that would be weird and stupid to do.

I'm not just gonna be like, "No! You can't sit with him!"

Of course I'm going to let him, what kind of friend does that make me be?

But I hate that it leads to other things like,

"Maybe he hates me and firmest want to admit it."

"I should stop being around him for a while."

"Maybe I'm being too clingy."

It sucks.

Especially when other thoughts are involved..

I wrote too much and I apologize.

That's pretty much all I want to say.

I'm fine right now. I actually have an algebra test tomorrow which I need to study for but instead I'm writing this. ._.

So I'm going to do that now.

By the way,

I think just by writing the last chapter,

Gave me the motivation to write again for some reason. I think I missed writing a chapter. So, I'll be writing chapters in the bus. ^^

Even if I do stop writing, I'll still have my Wattpad account.

I even wrote those, 'Dear future self thing' Haha.. I know, kinda stupid.

Anyways, thanks for reading all the way. ^^

Also, I have 905 followers. Wow.

I never expected that. ._.