Thank You.. (Aaron x Reader) SLOW UPDATES!

Sos

Sorry this isn't a chapter. ._. I'll try to come up with something in the next few days. I did update my other book though so, check it out if you want!

I suddenly got this weird idea in my head, and I weirdly have it all laid out. It goes like this:

I stared into the never ending hole of darkness.

I reached out slowly, my hand leading me forward, as it once again

Leased me nowhere.

I could hear nothing.

As I walked and walked, memories seemed to come up on the sides.

Children laughing but I couldn't hear them. When I reached out, they disappeared.

"[Name]."

I looked forward, as I saw a figure. My best friend.

"K-Kuro!"

I ran

And ran

And ran

And ran..

I soon got tired but I could still see him, but couldn't reach him. Every time I seemed to get closer, he seemed to get further and further away.

I got on my knees and cried, wanting to get out of this never ending hell.

There seemed to be..

No exit out of this awful universe.

So..

Whatcha think?

What do you think this means? For me, it means something very deep and emotional.

But, yeah just a small idea.

And

I Think I'm doing better.

Have you ever experienced suddenly remembering something really awful? Then you're in tears, and all you can do is try to distract yourself or endure it?

This happen a lot to me.

So I'm glad I'm home alone.

I just put on my earbuds, and sing along to my favorite bands/singers while playing guitar. MCR, Linkin Park, Johnnie Guilbert, etc etc.

Some moments like my mom getting mad at me for something small, like just like your mom getting mad at you for not doing something then it's all normal you know?

Just seeing her mad leads to many things that my heart ends up aching so much.

It's hard yeah.

I wish it could go away.

Some days it seems like things hay make me happy don't make me happy. Then I feel numb and I get tired of crying.

As well as not wanting to go out anymore and just, be alone. Have no interaction with anyone and just disappear.

It's weird, and I still..

Can't seem to eat normally. I guiltily still throw up my food.

And of now, I'm hungry actually.

I made a binder cover for someone, an anime one which I printed out and decorated it. I can't seem to be proud of it and even told the person to not tell anyone it was made by me.

I thought of awful scenarios just from a freaking binder cover.

Then my heart ached and I just played guitar, trying to calm myself.

Every single flaw I have I seem to just bring it out more and criticize myself for it.

I distract myself and I smile through it, and I think I'm so used to smiling through all this that now..

When I'm crying, I smile and repeat. "I'm fine."

Sounds creepy probably, but it's become a habit.

I hate anyone seeming me cry that I end up being cold when I cry. I just cover my face and turn away, trying to not let people see me cry.

My mom hates when I cry, so I feel weak whenever I do cry.

I feel like an idiot. Whenever someone says I'm strong,

I instantly think it's a lie.

My stuffed animal got really infected and I threw it away so I can't hug it anymore which sucks.

Because I could really use a hug right now.

And I don't know why I'm crying at this point anymore.

But I just really want to tell someone everything that's hurting. I want to cry without feeling embarrassed in front of them and let them know what I'm actually feeling. I want them to understand and just listen. I just really want someone there for me, I know it sounds pathetic but that's what I want.

Because I don't want to endure all of it alone anymore.

It hurts so much I don't know why.

I just wanna embraces them and cry, letting all the emotions out.

I don't want to be holding them when I'm in front of people just because I don't want them to see me cry.

I don't want to cry alone in my room when nobody is home or in the dark, when I'm supposed to be asleep.

I just really want to stop being sensitive.

But I'm probably being selfish so I'll stop now.

But yeah,

I'll try to come up with a new chapter so don't worry! ^^