Knight in Sneakers

Chapter 63 'Star-crossed Lovers.'

Entry 54

29th October, 2016.
Saturday
8:26 a.m

Clarke Augustan

I suddenly had second thoughts about my planned day with Aaron today. And I knew was going to have second thoughts about it, I just didn't know when.

I was never sure about anything in my relationship with Aaron except him. I've experienced a lot of unfortunate encounters to understand that Aaron and I weren't meant to happen. I just didn't want to accept it. I often used to consider ourselves as star-crossed lovers. My conversation with Dan when it was just the two of us, proved me right; yet again.

"I'll be back." Aaron patted Dan's shoulder as he got up to leave the both of us alone.

"Don't take too long." Dan joked with a playful smile. He looked back at me when he found me staring at him for a long time. "What?" He enquired curiously with no traces of smile anymore.

"I'm just looking at you." I replied with an emotionless face because I didn't want Dan to know what I was thinking.

"And what can you see?" He asked me with a small smile. "Can you see that I'm happy?" He asked me with a light laugh and in an instant, he lost all traces of humour on his face and gave me a hard unreadable look. "Or that I'm hiding my pain behind a smile?" He asked me seriously. Dan could mask his emotions so well, that for a second I actually didn't know if he was messing with me or being serious.

"Don't we all?" I asked him back. Dan was a good actor and a good reader. He is a topper after all in psychology. There is no getting past Dan or getting through him. Not if he has guard up all the time.

But if you catch him with his guard down, you'll never be wrong about what you see.

And I know what I saw.

"Don't worry, Dr. Augustan. I'm as happy as I can be at the moment." His eyes had a challenging look in them, like he was the one testing me instead.

"I'm glad, but I hope you know your friends are always going to be there. No matter what." I added as I sipped on my ice tea.

"I never doubted it, love. It's just not their battle." He added with a wink.

"No, it's not." I agreed with a shrug, "But you don't have to do it alone either." I didn't care whether I sounded cliche or not, I had to put my point across.

"Osho says, 'Through aloneness, you come to this oneness.' And I can't agree more."

"If you ask me, I'd think your lonely."

"Loneliness is a state of mind and there is nothing more easier for me than controlling my own mind."

"I just want to know."

"Know what?" He asked me with a small smile, like he knew exactly what was running in my head but decided not to entertain it.

"Whatever you have to say."

"You'll know when the time comes for me to say. But I want to know something too."

"Ask me." I said.

"Since when?" Despite the vagueness in his question, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Doesn't matter. No one would even doubt it. I thought the guilt on your face earlier was for forgetting me, but it actually wasn't for that at all, was it? You were guilty for something else all along."