His Broken Testimony: COMPLETED ✅

Chapter 24: Wait

If you gotta leave
Girl, I won't stop you, so do what you gotta do
I don't want you to go
But I got a few things in life that I gotta do
I'm not telling you to wait
I'm not telling you to wait on me
I'm not telling you to wait
I'm not telling you to wait on me
But I'm hoping that you'll wait

Anthony POV

The past six days have been hell. Like dying slowly , feeling any and every form of pain there is possible. From withdraws to the throbbing pain from the blow to the head I took earlier this week and let's please not forget the epilepsy that I've been office diagnosed with. I haven't started any medication for that just yet or they haven't been giving me any type of pain killers because they are still trying to way me off the shit I was putting into my body.

I thought my constant depression was bad but it ain't got shit on this. I've had at least twelve seizures since I've been here and all I can do is let them pass and after they're finished I have to have hours of test ran on my brain. I've become a prisoner, not only in my own mind but in the hospital itself. I'm never alone whether it's Chris and Royalty keep me company or one of the nurses. They have put me a suicide watch since the first time they had to sedate me but that definitely wasn't the last. I've been trying to break out this bitch every chance I get. I know it pisses Breeze off every time they call him, since he now down as my emergency contact. But I got to say the homie been patient with me and that I can't do nothing but appreciate. He tried to tell me about Ryan a couple days ago but I quickly shit him down. Not even telling him that I had overheard their conversation the night her left. I just don't want to think about her because if she's out of mind out of sight I can act the pain she's causing doesn't exist.

The doctors here as well as Chris have tried to convince me to go to rehab once I'm released but I quickly denied. It's not that I'm in denial that I need help I just don't want strangers who don't know me nor understand me trying to quote on quote fix me. Right now all in need it's the support of my family, which now consist of only my brother and niece, and God. I get through this I always do. So me and Breeze agreed with the approval of my doctor that I move in with him and attend mandatory therapy sessions as well as taking weekly/random drug test.

Looking down at my phone that Chris had retrieved for me from Mama Marys house, that Ryan has officially left, I stared down at the last picture we took together. It was from a days before all this happened and we were in the tub. I was having a good day, only popping one pill the whole day so I was sober enough to function. She had convinced me to join her in the bubble bath she had prepared. My back was pressed up against the shower wall as she sat in between my legs. My hands gripped both of her breast as I licked the side of her face. She smile was so big most likely because she was laughing at my silliness. Bubbles were all around us, on both of our faces and in our wet hair. But it in captured moment you couldn't tell that we were so unhappy well that I was. She had become my crutch , I depended on her happiness for my own and when I no longer felt hers I lost mine.

It's apart my fault though. Not only did I inspect her to do the same as I did for her even though I knew she was mentally ready or strong enough to take on my baggage but I lost my independence. Something I use to prided myself in. I had become not only emotionally but spiritually dependent on her as she did the same to me. So if we both are feeding off each other but neither are in the right state of mind how we were so suppose to do better. But she didn't have to leave me , she didn't have to give up on me. That's not what Love is about about that's my fault again for believing her when she first said it. Ryan looked at me as her savory when it came to the situation she had found herself in. What she felt wasn't love , it couldn't have been in was only appropriation in a very extreme form. I had mistaken salt for sugar and was left with a bad taste in my mouth.