His Broken Testimony: COMPLETED ✅

Chapter 31: Losing

I'll make time because you're worth it
Fall back when you don't deserve it
And I'll start losin' patience
When my effort's bein' wasted
I've been tryna ride
Can't you see I'm on your side?
But it's killin' me
Tryna make sure that both of us survive
And love, I haven't got enough practice
All the ones before you were just a mistake
Or just a distraction
So tell me what's happenin'

Ryan POV

We are so physically close but mentally I could feel the distance. What was once felt between the two of us was now one sided and it's been that way for quick some time now. Before I found out I was carrying his child, before I found out about the drugs, and before I left. The fire that use to burn in his gaze everything he looked at me had died leaving me feeling cold and empty inside. A part of me regrets coming back, wishing I would have stayed gone because the suffocating pain I feel every time he's near is starting to become too much to bare.

I watched from across the barbershop as Tony leant over the front desk talking to the girl whose name I found out was Miracle. The smile she showcased and along with a hint of red tent forming across her cheeks caused a deep sadness to wash over me. His smile was big and bright while he moved his hands trying to emphasis whatever he was saying to her. I could tell by the stars in her eyes that she was only half way listening to his words because I've been there before. Anthony is a work of art hat you couldn't help but to get lost in his embrace. Dark shades still covered his beautiful brown orbs and that alone satisfied me.

Tony has never been to big on showing what lays behind those glasses. He always felt like his eyes were the window to his soul. That you could see the real him through him. Leaving him unable to hide behind a mask so he kept them covered for his own protection. But when he use to talk to me he would removed the dark frames allowing me to see all of him. He doesn't do it anymore though. We haven't spoken much seen our conversation in the hospital about two weeks ago and the only reason I'm here now is because we have a doctors appointment to get to.

I watched with no shame in the fact that I had been staring for quick some time. Every now and then Miracle would glance over at me thinking that just because we made eye contact that was going to cause me to turn my head but it didn't. I wanted to be mad that Anthony was giving her so much conversation but I knew I couldn't for many reasons. In all honestly I was just ready to go and get this appointment over with so I can go back to bed.

Suddenly Tony turn towards me before glancing down at his watch. He spoke a few more words to ole girl before making his way towards me. My eyes followed his stride from head to toe all the way up until he was standing inches away from me. By the way his shoulders and chest filled out his shirt I could tell he had started to pick up weight again. His face was starting to get back to its original size if not a little fatter as his neck even had gotten thicker. He looked good as always. I can truly say I miss how we use to be but there was no way to go back in time so why I am trying to live in the past.

He doesn't love me and isn't sure if he ever did in the first place so my focus needs to stay on our child and making sure his or her father has a fair and his rightly chance to be in their life.

"You ready ?" He asked causing me to bite my tongue in saying something slick.

Only giving him a quick nod going standing to my feet but before I could do it on my own Tony's hand reached out for my own gently pulling me up. Once I was up right one of his hands was placed in the small of my back as he reached behind to the chair beside me to retrieve my things. Giving him a small smile I took my purse from his hand as I spoke a love thank you. I followed behind his step but he made sure not to leave me behind as we approached the front door Anthony turned on his heels once again to face me he spoke he few words to Miracle telling her to let Chris know he'll be back in a few hours before placing his hand on my back again pushing me ahead of him as he held the door open.