By Chance

Epilogue

I blinked.

Twice.

Ni hindi ko alam kung gusto kong bumangon sa kama. Parang kahapon lang kasi 22 pa ako, tapos ngayong araw na 'to 25 na ako.

Ang bilis ng panahon. Pakiramdam ko nga nananaginip lang ako.

A lot has happened, I was happy helping indie films when I was 22, pero na-realize ko rin that I needed to step up my game. I was 23 when I accepted the job as a director in Viva Films, and I didn't regret naman. In any way, they still let me do what I want with helping indie films. I'm not doing it for the revenue naman, siguro it's just what I really want in life.

I got up from bed and did my usual routine. Mom was adamant na sa bahay na lang daw ako tumira, but I still insisted to live in a condominium near Viva para hindi na rin ako nahihirapan sa pagco-commute. Si Blaster naman, although I didn't want him to accompany me, he was still adamant to get the condo next to me. Baka kasi magsawa sa mukha ko 'yung loko, apparently he promised he won't.

And, now, we're on our 3rd year.

It wasn't easy. Sobrang hirap. Minsan nagigising ako, natatakot na baka pag gumising ako nananaginip lang ako. Minsan, pakiramdam ko hinuhusgahan nila ako dahil nagpatawad ako ng taong sinaktan lang ako paulit-ulit.

But, isn't love a choice?

You choose to love, and if you get hurt, it's either you continue to love or just give up.

Oo, given na talaga 'yun. I gave up. But we were still young that time, sobrang daming pagkakamali ang nangyari. Sobrang daming umiyak. Sobrang daming nasaktan.

But in the end, if we choose to forget and move on? It's all gonna be worth it. Kasi hindi naman natin alam ang mangyayari sa hinaharap, we might regret our decisions, but in the end, the regrets will always be the reason why we'll remain strong.

Magkakamali ka. Paulit-ulit. It's an endless cycle because that's why life is good. You'll always have the chance to change, to make a better living, to be a better person.

I sighed in relief.

And then, if you choose to not give up. Challenges will come, they're never-ending. They'll always test you if you'll be able to face the consequences of your decisions.

"Good morning, love." Napangiti ako no'ng makita kong pumasok si Blaster sa kuwarto, carrying a breakfast try. "Breakfast."

"No berries?"

He nodded, "I jotted down everything that might make you sick," he said and kissed my forehead, bago napahawak sa tiyan ko. "How's my princess? Daddy loves you."

"Hey... hey, why are you crying love?" Natawa naman ako no'ng mapansin kong umiiyak na pala ako. Iginilid naman ni Blaster 'yung breakfast try at tumabi sa'kin. "Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head, "I'm just... happy."

Blaster chuckled and pulled my head closer to him, "I love you," he whispered. "Always."

**

From: Daddy

Love, I might be late. Have to fix errands.

Napa-buntonghininga ako nang makita ko 'yung message ni Blaster. I went to my birthday alone. I couldn't drive kaya tinawagan ko 'yung driver nila mama. They said my birthday dinner would be held at BGC. Kabisado ko papunta ro'n kaya nagtaka na rin ako na parang sa iba na ako dinadala ni kuya.

"Kuya... tama ba 'yung daan?"

Napakamot naman 'yung driver namin, "Ma'am, pinaiba po ng mama ninyo 'yung venue. Sa Vikings na lang daw po sa MOA." Napatango ako. Mom promised me rin kasi na siya na ang mag-aayos ng dinner para sa birthday ko since I'm busy with my work already tapos hindi pa ako pwede ma-stress masyado.

Problema nga lang, kung sino pa 'yung dahilan na dapat hindi ako ma-stress e siya rin dahilan kung bakit ako naii-stress.

Pagkarating ko sa Vikings hinanap ko muna sila mama, pagkakita ko sa kanila ay agad akong dumiretso roon.

"Si Blaster?"

"Busy po," sambit ko. "I messaged him naman na, ma." Napatango naman si Mama.

Sunod-sunod na dumating ang mga kaibigan ko, pati na rin sila Zild at Shanne kasama 'yung anak nilang 2 years old na, kuya Badjao tsaka ate Aimee pati 'yung kambal nila, pati si Unique kasama si Kirsten (na hindi pa rin umaamin na sila na kahit sobrang halata naman).

But still, no sign of Blaster.

I sighed.

I excused myself and went out of the restaurant, gusto kong umiyak, sobrang babaw talaga.

"Looking for me?" Napatingin ako sa kanan ko, there he was, standing with his usual outfit holding a big bouquet of roses.

He smiled.

"A-akala ko..." He went near me and hugged me tight.

"Sorry... love I had to talk to your dad first," he said. "I promised your dad that I'll propose to you when you turn 25, but knowing that you're pregnant with my child... that really made me happy, Cass. I know it's you already. It's really you or no one."

My tears were non-stop. Gusto ko siyang paluin pero nanghihina ako dahil sa init ng pagyakap niya sa'kin.

He broke the hug, stared right into my eyes, went down on one knee and smiled.

"Alam ko hindi ideal 'yung lugar... but it's the only place we could think of where a lot of people will witness how much I love you," he uttered. "Will you spend the rest of your life with me?"

Ngumiti ako, walang salitang lumabas sa bibig ko kaya tumango lang ako nang tumango. He immediately stood up and made me wear the ring on my ring finger.

"Fits you so much," he said before leaning and kissing me on my forehead.

They said, I shouldn't have just chosen him... that I should've just waited for somebody else's. I said, why will I still wait if I know that he's the one already?

Chances are one of a kind.

And, once you meet the person you think is the one, by chance. Grab it.

Love is a choice.

And if you fall, stand up.

Blaster and I... we might still run into several challenges, but I trust him. And I will always trust him, as long as he loves me and our child. I'll never seek for anything anymore.

That's what matters and that's what I'll keep.

@Bsilonga: Can't wait to make you and my child bear my name. I love you both, always and forever. @cassandrafeliciano_