By Chance

Chapter Twenty Three

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Paulit-ulit lang na nagre-replay sa isipan ko 'yung sinabi ni Blaster kanina. Hindi ko rin kasi alam kung ano'ng isasagot ko kaya buti na lang biglang tumawag si Zild dahil may emergency gig daw sila kanina. Saved by the bell ika nga nila.

I sighed for the nth time at napahawak sa dibdib ko. I can't explain the feeling. Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko at pakiramdam ko lalabas na ito anytime. Para tuloy akong timang na nakatitig lang sa kisame ng kuwarto ko.

"Ayos ka lang, nak?" Napalingon ako kay mama at tumagilid ng higa para makaharap sa kaniya. Lumapit siya sa akin at umupo sa tabi ko saka hinawakan ang noo ko, "Bumababa na lagnat mo. Huwag lang kayo masyadong labas nang labas ni Blaster do'n sa garden baka lumala iyang sakit mo." Tumango ako at ngumiti. Siguro, normally dapat nasa bahay lang ako, may bimpo sa noo at naghihintay lang ng lugaw na makakakain, pero iba rin talaga pag busy ang mga magulang mo. Sure, I can be with my mom every night, pero minsan I can't really predict their work sched, gusto ko na rin namang ma-discharge sa ospital dahil simpleng lagnat lang naman 'to dahil sa ulan, pero hindi rin naman ako maaalagaan ni mama sa bahay. I can manage naman siguro kaso mom's just so overprotective kaya in-admit na lang din ako sa ospital.

"Bakit mukha kang kinakabahan? May ginawa ka 'no?"

Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko, "W-wala ma ah!" Natawa naman si mama.

"Sus! Mga ganiyang expression. He kissed you 'no?"

Mas lalo tuloy akong namula kahit hindi naman totoo, "ma! Hindi!" Mas lalo pa tuloy napahagalpak si mama ng tawa. Napahawak na lang ako sa pisngi ko dahil ramdam na ramdam ko talaga ang pag-init nito.

"Biro lang! Ikaw naman," sambit niya. "Pero seryoso nak, may problema ba? Sabi ko naman sa school ninyo, i-send na lang sa email ko 'yung mga pinapagawa, as of now wala pa naman daw pinapagawa subject profs mo kaya huwag ka nang mag-alala."

I sighed.

"Ma, ang totoo kasi... it's about Blaster." Napa-buntonghininga ulit ako at napatingin sa kaniya. "I know na, it's always up to me kung ano'ng mangyayari, but I can't help but to feel nervous."

"He asked you to be his girlfriend?"

"Opo."

"Mahal mo naman 'di ba?" I nodded immediately.

Mahal na mahal. Sobra.

Napangiti naman si mama, "Always follow your heart, Cass. Kung mahal mo siya, then go for it. I'll always be here to support you. Sasabihin ko rin sa dad mo ang tungkol dito, I'm sure he'll be happy." Mom held my hand and kissed my forehead.

"You'll be fine. Choose what you think is best for you."

I smiled nervously.

Will dad really be happy?

**

Buong maghapon, nanood lang ako ng TV. Paminsan-minsan, sumisilip sa cellphone para tignan kung nag-message si Blaster pero wala.

I sighed.

Nang ma-bore na ako, pinatay ko na lang 'yung TV at umayos sa pagkakahiga. Akmang matutulog na sana ako kaso biglang pumasok si mama.

Kasama si Unique.

Napangiti ako.

"Iwan ko muna kayo ha. Susunduin ko lang si Ashton, pakabait ka Cass." Natawa naman ako sa sinabi ni mama at bumangon. Napaupo na lang ako at sumandal sa headboard ng kama. Lumapit naman sa'kin si Unique at ipinatong sa gilid ng kama ang isang basket ng prutas.

"Grabe, mauubos ko ba iyan?"

Natawa si Unique, "Mukha ka nang kalansay, ubusin mo iyan para naman tumaba ka nang konti."

"Nagsalita ang isa pang payat," biro ko. Napangiti naman si Unique at umup  sa tabi ko. "Buti naman napabisita ka."

He shrugged his shoulders and opened the basket. Kumuha siya ng isang orange at pumasok sa cr para hugasan iyon. Nagsimula naman siyang balatan iyon bago sumagot, "Kakabagot sa bahay."

"Hindi ka na naman pumasok?"

Natawa siya, "Weekend ngayon, Cass. Nasa hospital ka wala sa kweba." Napairap na lang ako. Pagkatapos niyang balatan 'yung orange ay inabot niya sa'kin 'yung kalahati. "Tsaka tapos ko na rin naman assignments, kaya dito na lang ako pumunta," dagdag niya at sumubo.

Habang kumakain kami ng orange ay nagkuwentuhan lang kaming dalawa ni Unique. Marami siyang kwento when it comes to his family, it just shows how he loves them so much, just like how he loves making music.

While we were talking, I saw how his eyes glistened while he was talking about his music, his works. Mararamdaman mo talaga ang pagiging passionate niya sa paggawa ng music, now I get it why he left the band. He wanted to explore. Ayaw niyang kinukulong talaga ang sarili niya sa iisang genre. He wanted to express his music through freedom—he wanted to express himself as who he is, and not enclosing himself inside a box where he's being limited.

Maybe 'yun 'yung hindi maintindihan ng iba.

"Dami kong kuwento. Ikaw naman." Natawa ako at isinubo ang huling orange na nasa kamay ko. "Musta kayo ni Blaster?"

Napangiti ako kasabay ng pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero pangalan pa lang niya, kinakabahan na'ko.

Siguro ganito lang talaga pag mahal na mahal mo 'yung tao.

"We're... okay."

Natawa si Unique, "Iyon lang?"

"He asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday. Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko, and he was kind enough to tell me that he's willing to wait." Napangiti ako. "I know... I know deep inside my heart that my answer is yes, and kahit ano'ng mangyari oo pa rin ang sagot ko, but I wanted to make sure to myself if this is what I want."

"Is this what you want?"

I sighed at umayos ng pagkakaupo, "Honestly, Unique, the spotlight, the cameras, the judgments? No. I hate all of those. I never wanted to be famous, even if I can sing, sort of, I never wanted any of those. I just want to become a normal high school student, maybe not the normal normal, kasi alam ko naman kung ano rin ang trabaho ni daddy. One day everyone will know that my dad is a CEO, and I may even need to take his place. But I don't want any of that, kaya as much as I can, I avoid stuff like fame or anything related to that, but because of Blaster?" I chuckled. "I did things that I shouldn't even be doing. Sometimes I keep on asking myself, am I doing the right thing? And always end up with no answers."

Unique was just looking at me intently. For the nth time, I sighed.

"But right now, Unique? I think, I've made up my mind." I looked at him and smiled. "That whatever happens, I'll always follow Blaster wherever he goes. I'll always be willing to trade anything for him, for his love. For us."

Unique smiled and held my hand.

"I'll always be here whatever your decision is. I promise," he said. "And always remember that whatever happens, I'll always be willing to catch you. Even if it means hurting myself, or others. That's how you are to me, Cass."