5SOS IMAGINES

I Dont Know

Hey guys.

So look before you get all pissy at me I'm gonna warn ya now: this isn't 5SOS related. This is nothing close to an imagine. This isn't fictional, a simple fake reality. This is life. This is what the world is and frankly right now the world kind of sucks...for me anyway. I just need to get some stuff off my chest and hopefully whoever the hell reads this book will care.

The last few months have kind of been shit. I don't know what's been going on with me or if I'm depressed or god knows what, but it's been rough.

I've just been getting in these moods where I just feel nothing. I'm not sad. Not happy. It's like all life has left my body and I just sit in my room. Alone. Counting the minutes until the day is over.

I don't think it's depression though. I mean I've got some signs of it, but I don't think I'm there yet. I'm on some weird limbo between happiness and depression and I honestly don't know which way I'm gonna fall.

I've spent most of my life trying to make people happy. I've never wanted anyone to suffer and feel pain or just feel like the aren't worth anything, but how can someone who is so broken give solid advice? It just doesn't work that way. I never want any of you to leave me but I think my advice has expired. My time of helpfulness has ceased. And now I'm just trying to help myself.

I'm one of those people that can give advice like nobody's business, but when it comes to myself: I'm fucking screwed. Now I don't know what to do. People ask me to talk to them about what's wrong but frankly I don't know. I don't know what's wrong. I don't know why I feel this way. I JUST WANNA BE FUCKING HAPPY AND I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME.

I just want some clarity about all of this. I don't know if talking will help. I don't know if medicine will help. I just don't know.

The main point of this I think was that I'm still gonna do imagines when I have time (band & school are a tad hectic right now) but I will probably also be ranting a bit on here. I need to talk to someone I don't know and someone that I won't need to see the next day. Cause I already talked to someone I need to see on Monday and I don't know how that's gonna go.

Maybe another day I'll post more in depth about things. Or if you guys want I'll just start another mini book where I can rant about things. You know what nevermind that was a shit idea. Even I wouldn't care about someone's rants.

I just need to say one more thing and it's gonna be in all caps cause that is making me feel better as of now so just ignore this next part....or read it....ya know....whatever:

SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA SCREAM AT THE WORLD: I DONT FUCKING KNOW. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME THINGS THEY EXPECT EDUCATED ANSWERS OR SOME SHIT BUT I DONT FUCKING KNOW OKAY? WHY ISNT IT OKAY TO JUST NOT KNOW SOMETHING. SINCE WHEN IS IT A NECESSITY TO KNOW EVERY FREAKING ASPECT OF THE FUTURE OR AT LEAST WHAT I WANNA DO BECAUSE GUESS WHAT: I DONT.

SO NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU WHAT YOU WANNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU ARENT SURE JUST TURN TO THEM AND SAY: I DONT KNOW AND THATS FUCKING OKAY. IM ALLOWED TO NOT KNOW SOMETIMES.

Wow that kind of got inspirational and went somewhere quite different from where I was expecting.

Once again if you guys want more rants/inspiration tidbits/ no bullshit comments....please just tell me or vote or something. I'm prob gonna do stuff like this anyway but I just need to know if I should make another book or I can keep doing it in here.

The big thing I think is that I know people will read this. If I started something else people may just not,...which kinda defeats the whole purpose I guess.

I'm don't with being nice all the time, not sharing my opinions cause I'll offend one fucking person, and frankly I just wanna be human.

Okay that's it before I start writing a book now about rants and shit: love you.

And remember...it's okay to not know

-tay

P.s. By that last part I didn't mean I was gonna turn into a giant bitch...I'll still be nice....just not for the simple fact that I don't wanna piss people off. I'm done with that.