Stolen lives

SL : 102

I woke up past nine in the morning---and had this hangover. I went straight home last night and didn't bother to come back to the hospital. Coz I don't know how to take what scenario awaits for me.

About Matt and Seph

It wasn't confirmed yet--that they're getting married. It just Matt who assumed that---that's what I'm thinking maybe he's taking the opportunity to marry Seph because of debt of gratitude. For he saves her by admitting that he's the culprit.

I won't buy that not unless Seph confirmed that what was Matt been said was all true.

But if she said yes...will be I able to accept that I'm going to lose her forever.

We haven't talked nor started...yet we're over.

I get up from bed and went to bathroom. I need to see and talked to her---about us. I'm still hoping that what she said yesterday was because she's just mad.

Well I know she is---but I've felt different when she takes cared of me. When I get injured and having a fever---when I get drunk one time.

Maybe she had feelings towards me but the hate she had for me stopped her from loving me.

Yes---maybe that's it.

I just need to prove to her that I regret everything.

-

I heard noise once I get out from my room. I'm already set to see her.

I went downstairs and heard that it was coming from her (Seph) room.

It was open----

Seph

"Seph" as I welcome myself inside.

She turned and look at me.

"A-anong ginagawa mo?" tanong ko though its clear to me what she's doing and I'm scared.

She was packing her things.

"Nakikita mo naman siguro di ba?" she replied coldly.

"Pero bakit? ---hindi naman kita pinapaalis. You can stay here" Gusto ko sana siyang pigilan sa ginagawa niya pero hindi ako makalapit dito.

"Hindi mo nga ako pinapaalis. Ako ang may gustong umalis. At kung iniisip mo na mag stay parin ako dito pagkatapos ng lahat---maling mali ka don Zack"

"Seph" nilapitan ko na ito at hinawakan ang mga kamay nito "can we talk? Please. Kahit ngayon lang"

Hinila nito ang mga kamay niya.

"May dapat pa ba tayong pag usapan Zack? Wala na di ba. At kung yung utang ko ang iniisip mo---huwag kang mag alala, hindi ko yon tatakbuhan"

"I don't care about that Seph. Let's talk---about us"

"About us? Ano bang tungkol satin? Ang alam ko lang, I'm your slave--- before----not anymore"  itinuloy nito ang pag empake.

"Meron Seph---alam ko may nararamdaman ka din para sakin. I can feel that. Nung inalagaan mo ko. Naramdaman ko yon Seph. And I already told you----na mahal kita. Minahal kita kahit pa noong mga panahong galit ang nararamdaman ko para sayo. And when you were got shot----natakot ako. Natakot akong mawala ka. And I hated myself dahil sakin kaya ka napahamak"

"Dahil sayo kaya nagka ganito ang buhay ko. Simula ng makilala kita. Wala nang magandang nangyari sa buhay ko. Ikaw ang dahilan ng gulo sa buhay ko, ang dahilan ng naging paghihirap ko. Kahit pa sabihin mong may nararamdaman ako sayo---sa palagay mo ba, gugustuhin kong makasama ka. Na sa bawat araw na nakikita kita---naaalala ko ang lahat. Kahit ano pa ang gawin mo----lahat ng ginawa mo---nakatatak na sa puso at isipan ko. At hanggang kamatayan ko---babaunin ko yon. Tama ka----may nararamdaman ako para sayo---pero hindi pagmamahal----kundi galit, pagkamuhi, pagkasuklam. At yung tatlong yon---isa lang ang ibig sabihin para sakin. Ayaw na kitang makita pa"

Tumayo na ito at binitbit ang bag niya.

"Seph---please give me a chance"

"You have all the chances if you only give me once" then she walked away pero hinabol ko ito at lumuhod sa harapan niya.

"Can you please stay. Please don't go" I don't care if she saw me crying. I just want her to stay with me.

Pero parang wala itong narinig. Iniwasan ako nito at nagpatuloy sa paglayo.

"M-mas magiging masaya ka ba----- kung wala ako sa buhay mo?" nakatalikod ito sakin ng tanungin ko.

Huminto ito sa paglalakad at humarap sakin.

Inilang hakbang niya ang pagitan namin.

Tumitingin ito ng diretso sa mga mata ko "Oo" iyon ang sagot nito at muling  naglakad palayo.

Playlist....

Say you'll never go

How can I make it through the day
Without you
You have been so much a part of me
(And if you'll go)
I'll never know what to do

How can I carry on my way
The memories
I know that is left is the pain in my history
Why should I live my life today

I can't live out on my own
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition
Please don't ever go
For I can't live my life alone

Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
(Make it through our lives)
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away

How can I make my dreams come true
Without you
You were the one who gave love to me
(And don't you know)
You are my fantasy
(You are my fantasy)

I can't live out on my own
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition
Please don't ever go
For I can't live my life alone

Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
(Make it through our lives)
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away

Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
(Make it through our lives)
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go
Away

To be continued...

Mas magiging masaya ka ba kung wala ako sa buhay mo? ...

Isang tanong na hindi ko kayang sagutin at hindi ko kakayaning sambitin...

Mas mahirap pa to sa math equation...