Go grab yourself a drink and get comfortable because this one is gonna be the longest imagine I've ever written✨
Your point of view:
Five years ago
"And?" he asked. I shook my head no.
"We can try again. Maybe right now isn't the right time." I sighed and wrapped my arms around him. "Don't lose hope, okay?"
Four years ago
I sighed at the pregnancy test in my hands. Negative. Again! How am I going to explain this to him?
Three years ago
I laid in my husband's arms, crying. The test was negative again!
"Don't lose hope baby!" he whispered.
Two years ago
I gripped his hand and my heart shattered at this very moment. Not again! The doctor continued to try and find a heartbeat but then he sighed deeply and shook his head.
"I'm so sorry for you, Mr. and Mrs. Mendes!" it was our second time of having a miscarriage.
One year ago
"Shawn I can't do this any longer!" I threw the negative test onto the ground. He was silent, he knew how I felt because he felt the same. We both wanted a baby so bad.
"Don't lose hope!" he said that sentence every time. And it was the only thing keeping me going.
January
I laid in bed with Shawn, naked and cuddled into the sheets after a sweet love session. My head rested on his chest while Shawn played with my hair with one hand, the other one holding mine. He hummed a soft melody as I was lost in thought.
"Shawn?" I whispered.
"Yeah?"
"What if it doesn't work again?" I felt tears burning in my eyes.
"Honey look at me." Shawn softly turned my head so I was facing him. I stared into his warm, brown eyes. I knew how badly he wanted to be strong for me but I could see the tears and the pain in his eyes. He looked broken just like me, but he still put me first to try everything to make me happy.
"Y/n, I want a baby just as bad as you do! I want to be a dad so bad. But we can't lose hope, you know that! We gotta keep trying."
"But I can't anymore! There's nothing else I want more, this is the only thing I'm thinking about and it's destroying me! For the past six years we've been trying but every time I finally was pregnant I lost the baby. Shawn, you do everything you can and give me everything you have but I can't even give you the one thing you really, deeply want." by now I was a crying mess.
I slowly felt him start to shake under me. His arms were wrapped around me tightly, never letting go while we cried together, hearts breaking.
February
I looked out the big glass door of the holiday apartment to see Shawn laying on the lounger, the sun shining down on him. I smiled softly and grabbed the two glasses of ice cold lemonade before I stepped out to him, dressed in only his shirt.
As soon as he heard me his head turned and he lifted his sunglasses to look at me.
"Hello there, beautiful girl!" he grinned. I smiled and kissed his head before I sat down next to him. After I placed the drinks on the ground Shawn pulled me into his arms. I smiled and enjoyed the warm sun of Hawaii. We definitely needed that vacation. I was finally happy again. For the first time in months I was laughing and not overthinking things all the time.
