Undying Devotion: A Weasley Love Story.

Chapter 30: Goodbye.

Months have passed since my last night at the headquarters. I sit on a tree stump that overlooks the Shrieking Shack. The area is secluded; it’s rare that people come out here, even when it’s not snowing. It’s Hogsmeade weekend, of course. Fred and George have been so busy with the joke shop that I haven’t seen them much, especially Fred. George and I still have our late night insomnia talks every so often. Other than that, I’m always alone to face not only my harsh reality, but everyone else’s as well.

As I stare off to the snow covered shack, it starts snowing once more. The ground around me is already thick with icy snow. The coldness of the snow is harsh, but it’s better than studying for my NEWTS that I will take tomorrow afternoon. I’m not sure that I can handle being here at Hogwarts any longer. I haven’t told Fred or George my decision to leave during the holidays, it’s just too hard.

My visions have become blinding. I see death on a daily basis. My heart is still learning to harden. My only hope during these times is that I witness a fast death, not one that’s long and drawn out. Luckily, Voldemort is impatient. Death is almost always fast. He doesn’t realize that a fast and painless death is easier than facing these dark times. I almost wish I was part of the ministry. Maybe I could be ignorant to all bloodshed happening. This is nothing, though. It has only just begun.

 My concerts with the Weird Sisters have been long forgotten. I am the freak once again. This time I don’t mind it so much. I like being alone. I always have so much to process. Nobody really knows how far gone my sanity is.

I spend hours sitting on the stump. The sun is now sinking below the horizon. The snow is turning into a yellow, pink layer of ice. I stand up knowing that I am well past curfew. I try to move my legs but they are extremely stiff and nearly frozen. I am somewhat reminded of that day Cedric and I kissed in the very spot and Fred came to apologize. I thought those times were hard. It’s funny how I’m still in the same situation. Even though I have accepted Cedric’s death, a piece of me still lingers to his memory.

By the time I force myself to move, a full moon shines above me illuminating my icy path back to the village. My whole body shivers as I realize how cold I really am. As I walk past Zonko’s joke shop I feel a hand grab my arm.

“Good god, Guinevere. Do you think just because you’re ‘special’ you don’t have to follow the rules?” Snape whispers forcefully. No part of his body shows. Even his face is hooded. I assume for his own protection in case any Death Eaters happen to observe his interactions. I’m not so sure he is trusted among them yet.

“You must know that my biggest fear isn’t detention or expulsion anymore.” I say softly, letting him apparate me to the gates of Hogwarts.

“It should be death. Or in your case, being captured. Do you want to be tortured?” He asks harshly, grabbing both of my shoulders.

“Severus, be easy. You don’t know what she’s going through.” Dumbledore tells him softly, placing his hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

“Oh but we both know it will be worse if she gets captured.” He retorts nastily.

“You mean WHEN it happens. I’m not stupid, Professor Snape. I’m going to have to cut off all noticeable connections with all those I love and care about or they will be the ones that will be captured and tortured. That’s why I have decided to leave tomorrow night.” I say turning my head to Dumbledore. “They will send a search party for me before school ends.”

Dumbledore rubs his temples. “We need to go inside and discuss this further.”

The three of us go to Dumbledore’s office. I take a seat across from him. “Molly will not let you leave,” Dumbledore tells me.