All mine

8

I'm sorry

John POV

I was going to tell him about my date, but Alex was our cold on his bed. I walked over to his shelf, it was neatly organized. On the top were textbooks, then fiction, then historical books, then notebooks. There were more notebooks than any, today. I picked up one of the newer notebooks. The notebook he wrote in today. Every page was filled with the same words: You can't have him! Over and over. I chose another, a diary it seemed.

February 18
Dear diary, I have sacrificed my wants once again. I love John, I want to be with him again, but I can't have him. I try to tell myself that he is not mine, but I can not help loving him. I am helpless. I need to stop loving him.  I just don't know how.
                            -A. Ham

I pulled out another. This one seemed like a long lecture, asking himself how he'd fucked up so bad. I pulled out more, until I found the one. The one he first had when he came. Another diary, it was labeled: August-September. I flipped to the day we met.

September 1
Dear diary, today I met the most handsome guy I've ever seen. His face was dusted with freckles, his hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and his eyes, oh god...his eyes. I'm helpless. I think I am in love. I need to get him in my life forever, I just don't know how I'll convince him.
-A. Ham

I covered my mouth with my hand. I put it back on the shelf, haunted. I wrote an entry in my own notebook.

February 18
Dear diary, Today I went on a date with Gideon. He has 2 sisters, one is his twin, Amelia. The other is Evelyn, she's mute. I am going to put an effort to learning sign. I went through Alex's shelf. His diary, his other notebooks... Damn. He's hella depressed.
-J. Laurens

I convinced the rest of the group to let me put Gideon in the chat.
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A/N
That's when John realized, he'd fucked up.