All mine

24

Weak

TW

Jason POV (Dun Dun Dun)

I sat back down in my favorite coffee shop. The only safe place for me left. He might try to find me again.

"Sit." I listened to taller man. "Listen, you do as I say, got it?"

"Yes, sir." I whimpered. This is how it works. Nicholas taught me what a relationship is. The stronger person is in charge, the weaker listens. That's how it works.

"Now do as I said," he demanded. He wanted this, and I have to do this because he wants me to. Even if I don't want to. I don't like it. But I do it because he said that's how it works.

"Yes, sir." I said, taking off my shirt as he instructed.

That's why I made myself stronger. Nicholas told me that's how it works. The weaker doesn't have a choice. I was weak. Only strong people get to make decisions.

Weak people don't get to say no. Weak people don't get to stop unless the stronger person says so. That's what Nicholas said, so I have to believe it.

I was taught that freshman year. He was the only person who would date me. I'm gay, after all. Who would date me?

I opened the door. Uh-oh. Beer bottles. He's gonna hurt me again. I can't let him hurt them. "Jack, Harley, come on. Now!" The two younger kids understood immediately.

I lead them into George's room. He's the second oldest, he knows where to hide them. I lock the door. I hear stomping from the hall. Oh no. He's coming.

"You filthy faggot! What did I say about coming home without a girl! Until you straighten up, you're dead to me!" He slurred, swing at me and leaving a bright red mark on my face.
He kept on swinging, mostly missing, but still hitting.

This is what I deserve. Dad said so. If I'm not what he wants, I'm asking for it. I deserve this.

I shouldn't be the way I am. My father said so and I have to believe him. That's how it works.

I sip my coffee. I hate it. It's so bitter. It's awful. But he said lattes are for girls.

"I dunno. Black coffee is too bitter, I like lattes. They taste better." The kid I was sitting with looked at me weird.

"Ugh. Lattes are for girls, don't you know that, idiot?" Finn reminded me.

"Uh..yeah...of course...who doesn't?" I lied. A look of disgust dusted his face.

"I honestly can't believe I have to explain everything to you. You literally wore a skirt on the first day of school." He critiqued.

"Uh...I guess I just didn't notice." I shrugged. "I thought it was normal."

"You wear makeup all the time. You're soo weird! What are you, trans?"

"W-what?"

"Seriously you act like a girl all the time, what is wrong with you?" He asked. Why aren't those things normal?

If Finn says so. I guess I can't do that.

All these people told me the way it works. Nicholas showed me how to be in a relationship. Dad showed me how disgusting I am. Finn showed me how to act.

They taught me. I believe them. Why shouldn't I?