TOUR [ H.S ]

34. Leicester.

Katie:

"Take your time..remember baby steps ?" Said Harry as he held my hand,the both of us now facing the door of my apartment.I could hear the distinct  sounds of people talking from the inside.

We finally made it to my hometown,it was such a long flight but thank god we made it back earlier because of our early flight.I barely even had any sleep last night after having many breakdown sessions.. it was all too much for me.I nodded and took a deep breathe it and out before giving the door three knocks,Harry and i stood out patiently and then the door was opened and we were faced by my aunt Sarah.She looked at me with such sad eyes and i just stared at her emotionless,i couldn't cry anymore.. or so i think.

"Katie..i'm so sorry.." she whispered as she immediately pulled me in for a hug,crying on my shoulder.

If i hadn't have had so many breakdowns last night, i would've been sobbing and on my knees.I hugged her back as she rubbed my back gently, "I never expected this.." she cried silently and i nodded slowly,she finally let go of me and looked at Harry that was currently standing next to me.

I never told any of my family that Harry and I were dating except for my mom and well.. my dad but fuck him for now,so it was also a shock to them when they noticed that Harry Styles were in the same room as all of them but thankfully they didn't do shit except but stare at him like he wasn't human.This was why i hated family events,nobody in this room except for Aunt Sarah actually liked me or even knew me as well.They only took advantage of me ever since they found that i had worked with Harry for the tour,they knew i was getting lots of cash.But at the same time i couldn't blame them because i went from being a jobless woman to someone who's working with Harry Styles.My female cousins basically praised him,every Sunday when we would have a family gatherings..all i could hear them talk about was "Harry Styles is so hot ugh i wish i was his girlfriend" or "I wonder what he's like in bed" all that sorts of shit.Don't get me wrong,i knew who Harry was but i wasn't interested enough to watch his videos or even listen to his songs.

"Oh you brought Harry?" Asked Aunt Sarah with a small smile,she wasn't being rude or anything.

Sarah had always taken care of me since i was a little girl actually.When Mom and dad would argue like no one else's business,I would always take my bicycle and sneak out of the house so i could stay with Aunt Sarah.She would always welcome me in by making the best homemade shepherds pie,banana & chocolate chip pancakes and setting up movie nights.She would do anything to make me forget about the fights mom and dad had and i will always cherish those memories.

"Uh yea,he wanted to accompany me." I told her and she nodded understandingly giving Harry a hug as well and closing the door.Everyone in the room had their eyes on us..well mainly on Harry.Harry kept his eyes glued on me as we walked past my family members entering into the living room.

My heart stopped the moment my eyes landed on the coffin placed directly in front of the window,this isn't real.There were flowers surrounding the front of the coffin and a picture of my mother at the side,i couldn't feel a single thing in my body at this point.I didn't move a muscle because i couldn't,i just stood there feeling empty.Harry was standing next to me as well,his eyes glued to the coffin and his hand gripped tightly around mine.

Was this really how things are? Coming back home to see my mother in a coffin instead of coming back and telling her that we're ready to move to London ?

"Do you want to see her love..? Asked Harry softly as he kissed the back of my hand to calm me down.

was i really ready to see her? What if i pass out or something ?

"Y-yes." I answered him with a cracked voice and he nodded as he walked us over to the front of the coffin,my heart felt like it was about to stop.

Just as i was about to lean over to see my mother,he gently pulled me back to face him.He placed his hands on my cheeks and made eye contact with me,
"I just want you to know that your mother would be so proud of you .. just as i am.However you react when you see her in the coffin..i just need you to know that i will never leave your side okay?" He said to me and i gulped nodding at him with tears forming in my eyes.

I know that Harry had went through this situation alone and the fact that he refuses to leave my side made me the luckiest girl on the planet.With his hand in mine,we both leaned over the coffin.I'd expect myself to cry or scream but.. i didn't.

For the first time ever,my mother looked so peaceful.

Growing up,i would notice how stressful her facial expressions would be from all the fights and problems.I've never truly seen her look at peace until today.Her hair was parted in the middle,a hint of pink on her cheeks,her lips in a mauve colour .. she looked healthy.I don't know why i thought she would look terrifying,must've been from all the movies i would watch but this was different. "I love y-you." I whispered placing a hand on the glass of the coffin. Harry stood beside me,rubbing my back, "She looks so beautiful..wow." said Harry.

If i only i could just turn back time and tell my mother how much i love her once more.

We were done with the speeches and lunch,like i said..my family couldn't stop talking to Harry.My cousins almost made a move on Harry but they didn't the moment Harry mentioned to the rest of my family that we were dating,can't help but be surprised knowing that he told my family.The rest of my family excluding Aunt Sarah..are hypocrites,if they wouldn't like you..they would trash talk about you to the next family member and it goes on and on.The only reason that they communicated with Harry was because they all were aware that he is rich and famous,they didn't gave a single fuck about his feelings if anything were to happen to him and that is why i try my hardest to avoid them.

Thankfully,they all went home leaving me with Harry,Aunt Sarah and Katherine in the apartment. If you're wondering how Katherine was doing,she's still a little oblivious but i don't blame her.She's still so young but Aunt Sarah and i tried our best to tell her that Mama was at a much better place and that one day we will see her again,somehow she understood.

I walked into the kitchen sitting down on one of my mother's favourite stools and took a sip of tea that Aunt Sarah had prepared for me,everything still felt like a blur to me. "Alright so you mix it until it's not chunky." instructed Harry to Katherine and she nodded her head as she mixed the cookie mixture,
"Like this Hawwie?" She asked him and he giggled.

Katherine was holding the spoon the opposite way.

I wished i could have Katherine's emotions right now,she felt sad but then she managed to not think about all that has happened and continue to live happily.Sadly,it isn't like that for me.I have way too many questions roaming around my head.
Will i be able to continue to work for Harry ?
Who's going to take care of Katherine now that mom is gone ?
Does dad even know about what's happening ?
Will i be able to cope with my feelings after all this is over ?

My heart felt so heavy,almost like someone had placed a big ass rock on top of my chest and it's like i couldn't breathe.The pain i was feeling mentally felt terrible the more i kept pondering on all those questions.

I looked at the view in front of me once more.Harry and Katherine mixing the cookie dough mixture together with Harry's hand placed on Katherine's tiny hand as he taught her how to stir, the both of them giggling non stop about how it's still watery and the smile plastered on Katherine's face.

As crazy as it sounds but just watching them for a moment made everything seem so easy,my heart instantly felt lighter for a second at the sight of them.
Harry sacrificed his time to be with me when he could be hanging with his friends on tour.
He puts a smile on his face to distract Katherine from all that is happening.
He stayed silent for hours with me as i was grieving.

And i will never understand how there were people who took this man for granted.It angers me knowing that people have cheated,betrayed and had taken advantage of him.All he ever wanted was to love..hard even if it meant getting hurt by them, maybe that's why he gives his all.

After just taking one glance at the sight in front of me...

He was right
I am not alone after all.