TOUR [ H.S ]

41. London,part two.

Katie:

"those are pregnancy symptoms"

It was already the next day,which meant that it was Gemma's launch day.I am supposed to be excited about it but right now i'm dreading of what's about to happen.

Anne said that i should take the pregnancy test in the morning before i head out with Gemma and so i took her advice and now i'm currently waiting for the timer to ring.My heart has never beat this fast ever and i don't even know how to feel especially with everything going on in my life,adding a baby to it is just..a lot for me to handle.
I sighed and tapped my feet against the bathroom floor and then everything stopped when i heard the timer go off,it was time.

Am i really ready to see what the result is ?

I knew i had no choice but to check it because time was running out and Anne was patiently waiting for me outside of the bathroom.I took a deep breath in and out and carefully picked the pregnancy test up and flipped it around so that i could see the result. My heart stopped instantly when i saw it with my very own eyes,a positive sign.

I am pregnant.

I expected so many questions to be flowing through my head right now but there were none,just completely blanked.All i could do was stare at the test with no emotion on my face.

Was this really it? My whole relationship could go downhill from here especially since Harry and I are still so young,he had a lot to live for and so do i.I remember sitting down with Mama when i was younger and telling  her all about my plans regarding the future.I planned to get married at the age of 29-30 and then when I'm 30+ ,i'll have kids with the love of my life.

Now don't get me wrong,i know for a fact that Harry is the love of my life and i can definitely see a future with him.But i never expected things to change so drastically,i was now pregnant and i know that this could either change our relationship or he would just leave and i would have to single handedly raise this baby.

I picked up the pregnancy test and slowly unlocked the bathroom door,facing Anne with a worried look on her face, "How was it love?" She asked,placing a hand on my shoulder.I immediately pulled her in for a hug and broke down completely.

This wasn't suppose to happen at all,i had so many things to take care of and i wasn't ready to lose Harry.Would he leave me ? What about all the fans ? How am i going to keep this pregnancy private ?

My breathing started to get faster and i was starting to feel a little drowsy and Anne noticed,she sprinted over to the brown cabinet in the bathroom and handed me an inhaler.I sat down on the bed and immediately took a puff of the inhaler.
"That was Harry's by the way,the inhaler." She said and i looked at her with tears still in my eyes.

"Whenever he's here and has breathing problems or panic attacks,he would use this." mentioned Anne and i nodded listening to her,i didn't deserve her at all.

By right,she should be mad at me.Her son knocked me up and i underestimated how easy pregnancy could happen,but yet i chose to go on only a pill.The doctor did mention that it was a 99% effective pill but i just so happened to be that unlucky 1%.It was a personal decision that Harry and i both made and now this is what i have to go through,i don't even know how i'm suppose to tell Harry this.

"Why aren't you mad at me or screaming at me ?" I asked her softly and she chuckled,placing her hand on top of mine, "Because it happened and none of us can do anything to change what had happened.You being pregnant does not make you a terrible human being,you're still this loving and kind soul no matter what happens.And that's all that matters at the end of the day."i looked down at my feet,contemplating about everything.

How does one have such a heart of gold? If my dad was here..i don't think i'll even make it out alive.

"I know all the questions that are running through your mind right now-believe it or not,you're thinking about how you don't think you can ever face Harry or just anyone in general.Or How would you raise this baby alone if Harry decides to leave you?" Said Anne and my eyes went wide.

"Let me tell you what i think is going to happen okay ?" i slowly nodded my head.

"You are going to have him sit down with you somewhere quiet and private and you are going to tell him the truth, don't drag your words.. just be honest and tell him.Now there's two ways he could react to the news,the first way is that he would just be so silent and not say a word at all.He would stare into nothing and just go somewhere else where he feel like he needs to go to calm himself down. The second way he could possibly react is by letting anger and sadness take over him and you need to understand that it is completely normal for him to react that way because it is massive news.He will end up saying things that will really hurt you but don't ever fight back because if you do,you'll both say things that could most definitely end your relationship." she explained but her tone was soft and calm,when she spoke to me.. i felt relaxed.

I don't even know what Harry could possibly say to me,i don't even know how i'd be dealing with all my hormones and getting all emotional too easily,it won't be easy for me as well.But Anne was right,he had every right to feel angry or sad.It was the only way of how Harry dealt with his emotions.. the only problem is that i'm just not ready to face it.

"I doubt he would ever walk out on you-relationship wise obviously not.But out the door when you tell it to him? He most likely will but i know my son,he is the kindest and most loving person.He doesn't judge or hate others,but he is the type of person who just need lots of time to heal from pain.He deals with pain differently,he tends to keep it all in and then one day he'll explode and when he does..it feels like a part of you exploded too.You have to trust me on this and keep my word okay hun? My son is loving and kind." said Anne as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and i leaned my head against the side of her head,soaking in every word she had said to me.

She was right about how a part of you explodes as well when you experience Harry having a breakdown in front of your own eyes,it's crazy how a part of you just breaks as well.He was always known as this happy soul who rarely shed a tear but due to him constantly hiding his real emotions,he breaks.And when he does..he breaks hard.I just want him to be happy,but when i face him again with our baby in my belly..

Would he be happy?

—So something is going down and this chapter made me all emotional for fucks sake.Anne is so supportive and i'm trying my best to try to make it be realistic with the characters in this story.I wanted to make Harry's character as similar to him in real life,obviously i dont know how he is in real life but I'm trying my best.Hope you all are enjoying so far and let me know what you think loves.