TOUR [ H.S ]

85."I'll see you soon."

Katie:

"You look so pretty hun."complimented Harris as he touched up on my eyeliner.

Harry and I had arrived home from our outing
around 2 hours ago.We had the most chilled time ever..it made me realised how much i've missed being around him.He kept opening up to me much more than he usually does which was really surprising because when we dated for a year,he was sort of hesitant about telling me about how he really felt inside.But today,he talked to me.He told me about the emotions that he went through throughout the past 6 months and about the stuff he had consumed as well.It was the first time in so long where we actually sat down together and just talked,it was really nice and well needed.

Harry was currently in the bedroom accompanying Alex,i'm not quite sure what they were doing but i had to tell Harry that i had to come back before the sun sets because i was supposedly going out for dinner with a friend from "work".I still feel absolutely terrible and guilty about going on this date..
"How do i know that this dude i'm going out with isn't some type of serial killer?" I asked Harris nervously and he chuckled.
"What i'm dead serious Harris! What if he just kidnaps me at the end of the night and then Alex is going to grow up without a mom and-"i ranted out and Harris immediately pressed his finger against my lips to shut me up.

"You're being paranoid love,you're gonna be just fine.And besides,i know this guy very well so you have nothing to worry about.Just go out on this date and have the best time ever Okay?"reassured Harris and i slowly nodded my head,still very unsure about going on this date.

I got up from my seat and touched up my hair with some hair spray before grabbing my necklace from my jewellery stand.I chose to wear a white spaghetti strapped mini dress,paired together with a fuzzy beige jumper to go with it.

I didn't want to over do myself for tonight because i just felt extremely crappy about going on this date.I shouldn't even be trying hard to impress right now..i mean for fucks sake,i'm already a mother.
I thanked Harris and walked out of the dressing room and walking towards the main bedroom.I opened the door slightly and just before i was about to enter the room,i heard Alex full on giggling.I've never heard him laugh like that..not even with me,but Harry actually made him laugh.

Harry had his mouth against Alex's tummy and each time he kept blowing on it,Alex laughed like no other.My heart swelled just by watching the both of them like this...

this was everything i ever wanted.Harry at home,spending time with Alex.

I knocked on the door lightly before entering,causing Harry to turn his attention towards me and when he did..his mouth was in agape.
"Wow..Kat,you look really n-nice."complimented Harry as he carried Alex and slowly got up,placing him in the baby walker.

"Thanks..i'll be back by 10:30 and then you could head back and i'll take over Alex."i said and he nodded his head awkwardly.
"Here,let me help with you this."said Harry as he took the necklace from my hands and then he walked behind me,delicately putting the necklace around my neck and clasping it.

Why was he doing this?
I felt terrible doing this to him and he doesn't even know about this date that i'm going to.He was treating me like the absolute gentleman that he is...this doesn't feel right right all.

Harry:

I couldn't believe that she was actually going out on a date..looking like that.
She looked so pretty in the white dress and her makeup was so natural,every thing about the way she looked tonight was just unreal.I can't help it,i will admit..i am a jealous and arrogant son of a bitch.

I looked down at her hands and noticed that she was holding a a silver necklace..

Am i really gonna let her go..?
Like am i really gonna let her move on from this relationship,after everything we've been through?
I've caused us so much pain unintentionally and i can't help but feel so much regret and guilt.All this while i thought i knew what pain was but nothing hurts more than this moment right here,watching her go on a date with someone that isn't me.I can't keep her all to myself because we aren't even dating anymore but even after today..she still chose to go on that date and it was her decision.

And so i did what i had to do in order to slowly move on..

"Here,let me help with you this."i said,trying to hide the hurt in my voice as i walked behind her and helped her put the necklace on.

This was what i needed to do to finally say goodbye,the last gesture.I couldn't beg her to stay because at the end of the day,she still chose to go on that date.It was her decision and the only thing i can do is just watch her move on without me.She deserved all the happiness in the world and i hated myself for not being able to give it to her..i really messed up.

I heard her whisper a soft thank you as i backed away and walked back to where Alex was.
"I uh just wanted to say thank you for this afternoon and also for coming back to spend time with Alex.."thanked Kat with a small smile plastered on her face.

"It's no worries at all,it was a nice afternoon."i answered her and she nodded her head,making the room silent once again.

I heard the sound of a phone call and noticed that it was Kat's ringtone,

how i missed that familiar sound...

She immediately answered the call,"Yeah i'll be right out,see you."said Kat and i felt my heart dropped just by hearing her say those words.She then ended the call and walked over to Alex,bending down and giving him little kisses all over his face.
"I'll see you later my darling."said Kat as she kissed his cheek once more before getting up and adjusting her dress.And then she walked over to me..

"I'll see you soon."said Kat softly and i just looked at her.

A part of me wanted to say "yeah i'll see you." but i couldn't,i couldn't come up with anything to say.A part of me also wanted to get down on my knees and beg her to stay but..i couldn't.I came back home,i told her the truth and we've both accepted it.But did i really think i would be losing her? No.I pictured us finally being happy together,no distractions,no managements in the way,raising Alex together as loving parents.Finally moving back in and starting everything all over again,but this time..it would last forever.

She waited for me to at least say something but until now,not a single world has left my lips.Her face dropped the moment she realised that i was never going to answer her back,but she didn't yell at me or anything..she just walked out of the room.Leaving me alone in this room that once used to be ours.