Powerless

37. Discharged

"So the Doctors say you can go home today." I looked up to see Roman sitting there smiling. Why... Why would they send m-me home? Emile he... He said he would help. He said he... Roman frowned and I looked away. "Is something wrong, Caz?" I just smiled and shook my head, looking out the window at everything.

"Did Emile mention anything?" I looked over to see Roman staring at his hands and I frowned. "Roman?"

"He wouldn't say much. Doctor-patient confide.... whatever the fuck. He just said he would be returning to the school with you for the foreseeable future." He said that whole thing just staring at his hands. He looked up at me and my heart dropped seeing the tears fall from his eyes. "Cassidy, you would tell me if something was wrong right?"

"Roman, I..." He looked away and I sighed. I couldn't even if I wanted to. But that was what was wrong... I've literally become the name I chose. Deceit... lies. I am a liar. I muffled the sobs that tore through me and Roman jumped up in shock.

"Caz? Cassidy what's wrong." I just shook my head feeling the tears fall from my face on the blankets that covered me. I'm broken. I've snapped. I'm a liar... a liar. How the hell can I ever be trusted? I can't. You can't trust deception. That's all I've become... Deceit. "Cassidy?"

"Cassidy, open your eyes." I looked up to see Emile there holding my hand as Roman stood in the background completely worried. I let my one hand drop to my lap and Emile frowned, kneeling down beside me. "You're ok. Just breathe."

"I feel... I-I..." Emile squeezed my hand and I looked over to see he was wearing his bracelet again... his suppressor. "I feel fine." He nodded as he stood up and I just stared at the wall.

'Are you still feeling pain?" I shook my head and he held out this paper. He placed it on my lap and I narrowed my eyes at the numbers that lined it like a scale... oh, I see. "Point to your pain level."

"But he said he didn't..." I pointed to a six and Roman froze.

"Is that true?" I glared up at Emile, who just raised an eyebrow and I sighed.

"N-No... I was lying." He smiled, taking the page away from me and I frowned looking over at Roman who was very confused. "So, you're coming back with me to campus?" Emile nodded as he pulled out his notebook again, stealing Roman's chair as he sat down.

"Do you mind Roman staying or..."

"Is this another session?" He shrugged and I started to hug myself. Roman walked over to sit on the windowsill as I stared at the blankets. "C-Can you t-take your bracelet off?" 

"Would you feel better if I did?" I shook my head and Emile nodded. He started to take his bracelet off when Roman got confused. "Is something wrong, Roman?"

"No... nothing wrong. I'm just confused." Emile looked back over at me tilting his head towards Roman and I sighed. I don't... I don't want him to know I'm crazy.

"You're not crazy, Cassidy." I scoffed and he frowned. Roman just sat in the corner observing everything but staying out of it. I love him for that. He's too concerned to leave but he's caring enough to not butt in. Love... god, I don't even know what that is. I don't think I ever will. Who could love Deceit? "Caz..."

"Don't." Emile stopped short and I looked up with a blank expression. I don't want to hear it. "Let's just get this over with. Please?"

"If that's what you want?" It is... I just want this to be over. Emile smiled sadly as he handed over a bunch of different things. "Alright. I do have to ask again though. Do you mind Roman being in here?" Roman looked away and I frowned. I don't care but... please don't mention mental strain. I don't want him to know I have it. I don't want him to blame himself for it. Besides... I don't really want to talk about it right now. I just want to go home. I looked down at everything he handed me and I shot him this look of confusion. What's the point of this? "I want to determine just how deep this 'deceit' runs."

"Oh so like... figuring out ways around it." He nodded and I glanced over at Roman. He was just watching. He was clearly confused but he stayed quiet. I smiled and looked back down at everything. There were books and pages... pens and notebooks... even a phone. We've already figured out I can at least be honest when it came to pointing out my pain level.

"That is true, but I would like to learn more. It's better for you to have a good understanding." I nodded and He smiled. "I'm going to ask a bunch of questions and I want you to lie ok?" I took a deep breath and smiled. Yeah, I got it. "Then I want you to tell me the truth." He pointed to his head and I nodded again. Verbally lie and internally tell the truth... How does that help with anything? "I need to know the truth beforehand so when you answer the question externally through one of those methods, we know if it worked or not."

"Then why lie, to begin with?" Emile smiled bright and pointed at me.

"So that you can see when it works. Ok, question one. What's your name?" I glared at him and he just laughed. I looked around and grabbed the phone frowning. I rolled my eyes and laughed. My name is Cassidy.

"Do I really have to lie for this one?" Emile nodded and I sighed. "Fine... Sam." I started to type the answer into the phone and frowned. As I typed it out the letters seemed to shake making it hard to see what I was writing. I ended up getting frustrated and tossing the phone on to the bed. Roman took the phone and showed it to Emile. "So... it was a bust?" Yes... a bust don't even have to answer me, Emile. I already knew the answer.

"You didn't finish but you didn't lie." I narrowed my eyes in confusion and Roman tossed the phone over to me again. "You managed C, a, and s before giving up. What happened?" I shot him this look and he pointed to the mess in front of me. I just sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Nothing..." except the fact I could see what I was texting. Emile frowned and I grabbed a pen and paper. Why bother this will just end up being the same thing? Right? I started to write down my 'account' of what had happened and I had to stop. Everything I wrote was true and I could see it but what made this different from texting? I started to write how I think Emile should knock it off and that's when the page went blurry. "Holy shit."

"Cassidy?" I looked up and crumbled up the paper much to Emile's dismay. "What was that for?" I just wanted you to ask me that question. I smiled as I grabbed another page and started to write not even bothering to tell a lie. Who cares anyway? I wrote down my answer and took a deep breath. I'm just reading it. I'm not talking to anyone. I'm talking to myself.

"I-I want...ted you t-to ask me that." I smiled and looked up at Emile who just sat there shocked. I looked over at Roman and my smile fell. He was staring at the window with a frown.

"It seems it's time for you to go." Emile got up and started packing everything up. I just watched in confusion and I tensed u seeing the doctors come through the doors. They froze seeing Emile, who just stepped out of the way.

"So, you're all set to be discharged." Dr. Schneep called as he looked over his clipboard. "We did have to diagnose you with..."

"Don't say it." I cut him off and Roman narrowed his eyes. "It's fine. Everything is fine so just... continue.."

"We have everything written down in here for you. I put anything in it you may want to know." Dr. Iplier said as he handed over this packet. "You're not alone. You know that right?" I looked down and sighed gripping the packet tight in my hands. "Alright then. All that's left is getting you guys out." I felt someone grab my hand and I looked up to see Roman smiling down at me.

"Let's go home, Caz."