My life with Aspergers

Chapter 7- Reputation

Everyone has repuations right? Well, my reputation back in Utah isn't looking so good. And its because I have a disorder that I can say or do things that make people advoid me or give me dirty looks if you know what I mean. Now, I should tell you off hand that I will be going back and fourth just to let you know some things are past, and some are well you know.

I did not have a very good reputation in High School. The reason I know this is because I always ate lunch alone. After I ate lunch I would normally do my stupid thing walking around the school acting like a body guard/security guard protecting people. Don't ask me why, I have no idea why I did that.

There were some activites that they did during lunch, but I never did any of them because I thought it was stupid. There are actually a couple of people I forgot to mention in my 10th grade year. You remember in Junior high school when I was in foods class I met this girl named Kelly? Well, when I was in this special class, she walked in the door and I immediatly recognized her. Now, part of have Aspergers I am not sure if it is part of it but when I see someone I recognize their face anywhere. I may forget the name, but I remember the face really well. The second person I forgot to mention was during the time I was doing those horrible packets.

I remember one day when I was doing those packets, this girl texted me. I didn't have her name saved, but it did show her number. She texted me saying she wants to meet me at heritage park by Lone Peak. I knew where that park was because I been there a lot of times with my mother and siblings to take pictures. She likes that background there.. When I had gotten there there were 2 girls. One was a white girl and one was a black girl (Not being racist, just giving a description) When I first set my eyest on the white girl (didn't know her name yet) I instantly fell in love. I knew it was not infatuation (thinking your in love with someone but really not).. I soon later found out that her name was Tamara. And the thing that I loved about her was she had a Russian accent.

As the year went by I got to know Tamara a bit better.. A lot better. She is exactly like me, so she knows how I am and everything because she knows what it feels like. In October I was in the back of the van and I usually called Tamara up just to talk. I soon realized that she told me it took her a long time for her to love me in the same way I loved her. I been to her house many times and she had been to my house a few times. That's because I was so secretive about her for reasons.

All the times that I was with her, I knew I was in love with her.. There was no doubt. You are probably wondering why this has to do with Aspergers. Well, I'll tell you. I have always been there for Tamara (I soon later nicknamed her TK, T, Angel... But then it just stuck with Angel. I called her Angel from then on) I was always there when she needed me. I would always run to her no matter what time or day. Its what you do when your in love.. You go to the person that your in love with when they need you.

I soon met this girl named Fay. She was nice at first but then became what's the nice word for it? Horrible just like Ambika. Fay and I used to text like all the time. We'd laugh and talk... But something happened to her. She became the one word for dog. She was just terrible. She wasn't the same one I knew. I did like her but she didnt feel the same way about me, and don't worry we'll get into my relationship history. After that she was gone from my life. Tamara had a boyfriend in October last halloween but she did love me more than a friend. Fay was with us too but I stayed farther behind because I did not like seeing people kissing, holding hands, holding each other tight etc... Like lovers did. Why? It wasn't becasue I didn't like seeing it, because I did. It just made me feel lonely and jelous (You'll see why in my relationship history... Then you'll understand)

But not too long ago maybe a few months ago, Angel wanted to go our seperate ways. This was the hardest thing I had to give up. I wasn't sure how long this would be, if I'd ever see her again.. But things changed. So bascially I did not have a good repuation in High School because no one ever talked me, hung out with me, or socialized with me. I was always alone.