My life with Aspergers

Chapter 30- Get ready!

Well its that time of year again. It's the month of November and Christmas is just 1 month away. So weather you like listening to Christmas music before thanksgiving, or after thanksgiving. For those of you who like listening to Christmas music after thanksgiving I got 4 words for you: You are plain weird... I don't know that's just my opinion. For me, I like listening to christmas music before thanksgiving. The day after Halloween I start listening to Christmas music. Now in this chapter I want to talk about Christmas more because it's getting closer... Don't worry I'll write another chapter before or after Christmas... I'll try to write before Christmas.

So I want to ask you; What is your favorite thing you love about Christmas? Do you love spending time with your friends and family? And what it is your family Christmas tradition? Well as for me every holiday weather it would Halloween or Christmas or possibly Thanksgiving, there is one thing that I love the most. And that is Eggnog. Now I know some of you readers are thinking Eggnog? Gross! With a disgusted face but hey I don't blame you. Not the whole world likes eggnog so your not alone. And other people who might be reading this you might be thinking Eggnog? That's so good! Now right there I am with you people who love Eggnog.. But I should warn you, try to limit yourself of drinking that stuff because it can be addicting. Believe me, I know. The very first time I drank Eggnog for the first time, I was instantly in love. And ever since then I was excited every holiday weather it would be Halloween, Thanksgiving, or even Christmas because they would be selling Eggnog again. Now before the Costco in... Lehi I think? Anyway the newest Cosco around Utah. Before the new Costco was even built I always thought that Kholer's Eggnog was good and anytime I had money I would go to Kohler's and buy the Eggnog. But the very first time I tried Costco's (the new one) Eggnog for the first time (Dairy Gold) I was even more in love with their Eggnog than Kholer's

I guess the point to the story is, as much as I hate to admit this but it's actually true... I am addicted to Eggnog. Now I am not totally addicted where I can't control myself from drinking Eggnog, because I can. It's the type of addiction that its so good, I don't want to stop drinking it. Now you readers (if any is reading this) you might be thinking Wow he can't control himself? I don't think I want to invite him to my house when we have Eggnog in the house... He might just drink it up. Don't worry readers I am not THAT addicted. I am still at the stage where I can control myself... I could even have 1 glass of Eggnog and I could be done for that day if I wanted. I don't want to keep talking about Eggnog, not that I don't want too because I do but I want to talk about other stuff too

Here is another question; Do you like watching Christmas movie's/Tv shows? You do? Wow I am with you there because I like doing that too. The disadvantage of Christmas time is the snow. I know some of you like snow and others don't... Sorry I have to say I am with the people that don't like snow during Christmas time. But there is one thing I am not looking forward to Christmas this year; and it's spending time with my family in Utah. Now you might possibly be thinking Why would you not like to spend time with your family during Christmas? Well in honest answer I have a complicated relationship with my family.... Sometime's I don't get along with them especially my father... I am not trying to be mean but it's complicated basically. It seems like everytime I do go to Utah weather because my cousin is having a baby or some reason my aunt has to go to Utah I always end up going back to Utah and I sometimes get in a fight with my dad. I don't want to go into the details, it's just complicated basically.

Another reason is; A year ago from this Christmas I was giving the girl I loved her Christmas present. When I got there she wasn't home at that time so I just left it on he porch and headed back home. Later that same day she called me up asking me to come over. So I did ---At this time my family didn't know who the girl I loved was, and they didn't even know she exsisted. I would always say "I am going to Walmart" or "I am going for a run" (That was the most excusues I made) Or I would even say "I am going to talk a walk" And every time I said a excuse, they believed me I really was going to do it. Now realize I am not trying to go behind their back, it's just that I know what it would be like it they knew her... And that would be happening now. (See next chapter for details but don't stop reading this one to go to the next. Find out why Christmas is going to be different first)

Well once I had  gotten to her house and a few minutes later she had opened the door and gave me a big hug (Which I rarely get by girls) then from that point her and I hung out for couple or few hours and after that I headed back home. As of this year I am not sure if I am going to like Christmas this year or not because from this point on it's going to remind me of her. And just thinking of her hurts me not seeing her. I miss her, I miss talking to her, I wish I could hug her, I wish I could hold her.

I guess one good thing is--- Wait, no this would have been my first Christmas year in Idaho but I just remembered that my aunt and uncle are flying to Pennyslvania for Christmas so that probably means I would have to be sent back to Utah and spend Christmas vacaction with my family which I have mentioned, is complicated. I would gladly like to go anywhere but Utah. Not just because of my family, but I have a bad reputation in Utah. See, part of being autistic is people judge you. It's kind of ironic because if people see people who are physically autistic who are in wheelchairs or anything physical like that, than they are nice. But if people who are autistic and can still walk and talk normally than they treat them like dirt. I am not sure if it is true or not if that's what they really do but it's that way with me. I am going to to go off topic for a minute, I have been single for 6 years (Since Junior High) So I guess part of being autisitic is I am judged... But the thing is, the girls don't know what they are missing. I am one of the rarest guys that knows and uses chivlary.. Nowadays in this world, it's hard to find another guy like me. There have been times when I would say to myself Maybe I should be gay or Maybe I should be bi you know? I didn't say I am either of those, I was thinking of it because I honestly have no idea what to do. OK now I am getting of topic... Basically in Utah if I ever mentioned my real name when I text someone, let's just say that I wouldn't be hearing them for quite awhile. So part of Asperger's I can never tell if I am saying anything stupid or weird.. And the only time I can tell is when it's too late. Ever that happen to you?

Ok getting off that subject, if you could tell me what you would want for Christmas what would it be? For me, I am really wanting a laptop so I can work on my stories on here.. Because everytime I am on here, I am at a library doing my work on here. But if I had a laptop I could just work on my stories at home.

One of the things I love about Christmas is sometimes my grandparents would sometimes stay with us during christmas.. But sadly this is the first Christmas without my grandfather since he passed away in May I think. I know it might be different this year... Alright should I stop writing so you can read the next chapter of why it's hurting by talking about that girl I mentioned? You want too? Alright you win :)