Diary of an Introvert

23

*** Happy Birthday*** 

March 15, Friday

It's my birthday. My 24th birthday! My goodness, hahaha, nakakainis isipin na tumatanda na talaga ako but I'm really thankful for the another year added to my life. 

I woke up earlier than my alarm and saw a short but kinda sweet message from Calvin. Reading his text made me think about the distinction of dating and being in a relationship because I don't see it at all. Recently, he's making me feel like he's really my boyfriend when in fact, he's not. Hay...anyway, I just replied thank you.

He called me after a minute.

him: Good morning and happy birthday ulit! so? anong plano?

me: plano? hindi ko alam eh. ikaw? free ka ba?

him: (sigh)  i really don't know. medyo marami kasi kaming ginagawa eh. Deadlines here and there so I guess gagabihin na naman ako. Are you going to wait?

me: hmm...what if bukas nalang tayo magkita? I mean, you also need to rest after work.

him: I understand pero kapag medyo maaga pa, pwede ba kitang bisitahin?

me: okay.

him: thank you! O sige, maligo ka na at baka ma-late ka na naman, teach.

me: haha, okay po. Thanks

Call ended.

I went to work and gladly I was not late. My students surprised me again with flowers and letters.  They asked me for a free time cause it's my birthday but I said, "Sorry. We'll have your quiz whether you like it or not." 

They looked disappointed but I won't change my mind so they studied, instead.

The day went by so fast and just caught ourselves sitting on the couch and talked about random things while waiting for the time for us to go home.

"May date kayo ni Calvin mamaya noh?" Nalie asked na parang ginagawa niya ng source of kilig ang nangyayari sa amin ni Cal.

I awkwardly laughed at her question. "Wala. Baka bukas pa kami magkita. Busy kasi ngayon yun eh." 

"Oh? Busy? Bakit parang feeling ko nagiging excuse na yang pagka-busy niya? Hindi ka ba nagdududa o nag-aalala?" 

I honestly feel that way. Pumapasok din minsan sa utak ko na baka nagsasawa na siya sakin...pero sa kabilang banda, I somehow trust him. Are these feelings normal?

"Alam mo, noong simula pa lang, hindi ko na talaga maiwasang mag-alala na baka hindi mag-work yung sa amin. In the first place, bakit nga ba ako? Sa dami-dami ng babaeng mas maganda o mas bagay sa kanya, bakit ako? Sino ba naman ako? Pero... yung mga pinapakita niya sakin at pinaparamdam na importante ako sa kanya, I can feel his sincerity so sabi ko nalang sa sarili ko, why not give him a chance? Why not give 'us' a chance, di ba?" 

I stared at her waiting for any replies from her ever talkative mouth but she stayed quiet. She instead, made a slow clap.