Diary of an Introvert

50: Change of Heart

I just recently realized that I was on the 50th chapter of this book. 

The half century chapter— where the twists and turns occurs.

Yes, I have a change of heart.

Yet, it's not about Calvin— in fact, I'm still in love with him. What I'm talking about now is my career or let's say, the path that I wanted to pursue years before I graduated from college.

As I mentioned in the previous chapters, I was aiming to become a guidance counselor and that path was opened by the Lord when I started my grad school life.

You all know how hard I struggled, sleepless nights I rendered and sacrifices I did just to finish my requirements.

I'm almost there— but something changed.

I realized that I was such an idealist before. I was into psychology and made myself believe that I can work as a counselor.

Working as a teacher and studying the MA in Guidance and Counseling at the same time made me see where my heart really belonged. Like walking near the waters, I was drawn to it more than the sands.

I love teaching. I love my students. I love learning from them every day. I love talking and spend time with them. I like where I am now.

I struggled for like a month and more— deciding on what to do. I prayed and prayed and prayed until such time that my decisions were no longer mine but the Lord's will.

How will we know if that's what God wants you to take or do?

A religious friend once told us that you will know it came from the Lord when you don't have doubts. You don't question. You don't feel regretful.

In the end, I decided to take a break. I didn't really care if I fail anymore. I had a change of heart.  Hopefully, people who's expecting something from me won't be disappointed but will instead understand what I'm going through. If not, then I can't force it to them.

Later on, in case I chose a bad decision— I'll make sure to learn from it.  Well, that's how I live my life ever since.

Once we let go of our thoughts and our doubts and just let the Lord fill in the emptiness of our heart, the answers will just flow smoothly. Although I feel like this, I shall continue to pray.

Please continue to pray.

*** to be continued ***