Diary of an Introvert

40: Tears

It was 8 pm when I called home. I'm still waiting for Calvin at the park so I can't go yet. Fortunately, they understand my situation.

I stared at the clear sky. It's not anymore cloudy...it's not going to rain again right?

hay...why do I feel uneasy? You're just gonna talk, Cee. Isn't it good? Yes it is but I can't help it. I'm worried we might end it here.

Slowly, hot tears are falling down.

"Oi."

I looked the man standing beside me. It's Calvin.

"Oy— umiiyak ka ba? Anong nangyari?" He's worried...I guess. " May mga siraulo bang kumausap sayo at—"

He stopped as I chuckled. "Hindi naman ako kagandahan para lapitan ng iba noh."

"Ha? wow naman. Ang baba ng tingin mo sa sarili mo ah. So? Bakit teary eyed ka? Don't tell me na napuwing ka lang."

"Napuwing lang nga ako. Hehe..."

"Tsk. Huwag kang ganyan pwede ba?" He moved closer and held my hands. "Cee, how would I know what you actually feel when you don't say a thing? Hindi ako psychology graduate and was never good with guessing games so please..."

I didn't want to but I cried. Lord, why???

"Galit ka di ba?"

"What—?"

"Tapos hindi mo ako kinausap pagkatapos nang sagutan natin sa ospital."

"Ha? Wait—"

"Then you're giving me this vibes na parang maghihiwalay na tayo."

"Ha?! Oy— Cee! Kumalma ka nga! Anong bang pinagsasasabi mo ha? Galit? Yes I was mad but that was for seconds. Hindi kinausap? Hoy— sino sa ating dalawa ang may sabi na magpalamig muna tayo ng ulo ha? I was waiting for you the whole time then I saw you sa cafe and what did you say? Hindi mo ako kilala? Tanga ka ba? Hindi ako kasing pasensyosa mo that's why I called you here to talk. Hindi ko gustong hindi tayo nag-uusap. Nag-aalala ako kapag hindi kita nakikita kahit nakakausap man lang sa telepono. I really miss you and I can't hold it anymore." Agad niya akong niyakap. "I'm sorry. Hindi ko alam na nasasaktan na pala kita. I'm sorry but I won't let you go, Cee. I love you..."

I can't say anything. I'm happy...too happy that I cried again.

Lord, so this is how it feels to loved. Thank you for letting this man in my life.