Flashcards On The Wall

Chapter 23: Revelations

My weekend trip didn't last the weekend. Oliver's birthday was on Friday. Saturday afternoon I left. As soon as Gabe sees me, he knows something is wrong. I cried most of the drive back, that part is obvious as my eyes are red.

"Why aren't you at your parents' house? What happened?" Gabriel questions.

"Can I come in?" I ask.

I step inside the apartment and immediately start talking.

"He's married," I say.

"Who is married?" asks Gabe.

"That's why she said nothing about him all these years. She didn't want me to go look for him," I continue.

"Amelia what are you talking about?" Gabe is confused.

"My dad. Mom said she didn't find out until after she was already pregnant," I say.

"Your mom was the other woman?" he pieces it together.

"Yes. She said that he knew about me and even saw me once but didn't think I was his kid or didn't want to believe it. He's living his life like I don't exist," I'm pacing back and forth in his living room by this point.

"Millie-" he starts.

"She's known this for twenty years and I practically had to corner her to get the real story. I feel like such an idiot," I say, "For years I wondered about him. Missed him. How could she get involved with such a poor excuse of a man? Why didn't she tell me?"

"Maybe she was trying to protect you," Gabe guesses.

"Well she didn't succeed!" I respond.

"Who knows why she did it, but you need to calm down," says Gabe.

"She said that he was a good man. Can you believe that? Still had the nerve to defend him. How could she lie to me? He wasn't. He wasn't a good man. A good man wouldn't do what he did," I say, "He has a family. Three kids. I have siblings Gabe. Three half siblings. He has his perfect little family and who cares about me right?" I take a deep breath, "I hate him. I hate her. I hate them."

"No, you don't. You're not thinking straight," Gabriel responds.

"Don't tell me what I do or don't feel! Your family is intact, you don't understand!" I yell at him. I hear the words come out of my mouth and know it's not true. In no way was Gabriel's family intact.

"I'm sorry...I..."

"You're hurting," he says.

Gabriel tries to hug me, but I push him away, "Don't."

Instead of giving me the space I'm asking for he pulls me closer; I give into him.

"How could they be so careless?" by this point I can only get out a whisper, "Why didn't he want me?"

Gabriel looks me in the eyes and says, "You are wanted Millie. You are so, so wanted and loved. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. I love you. You are loved Mills. Don't ever doubt that."

We don't talk after that. I let him hold me. I don't know how long I cry. He says nothing. I say nothing. When I drift to sleep he still hasn't let go.

The next morning, I wake up in Gabriel's bed; he's not there. I find him in the kitchen in front of the stove. It's many seconds before he sees me watching him make breakfast. Finally, he turns around.

"Morning," I walk over to him as I say it.

"Good morning," he replies cheerfully.

"Did you fall out of bed?" I ask wondering I if let him sleep at all.