Flashcards On The Wall

Chapter 30: Space

On Thursday, I study in the library after tutoring. On my way out, I see Gabriel on his laptop. He did call after his trip, but we haven't seen each other since before he left. I go buy a coffee before deciding to approach him. While it's not my intention to distract him, I think we need to check in with each other.

"Hey, stranger," I say as I approach him.

"Hey, yourself," Gabe responds.

It takes him seconds to find the nearest chair and wheel it towards his table.

"Have a seat," he instructs.

"I'll only be a minute," I say.

"Please," he replies.

Gabriel waits for me to sit before he does again.

"What are you working on?" I ask.

"Paper due tomorrow," he answers.

"Pulling an all-nighter," I conclude.

"That's the plan," he confirms

"I suspected. I brought you this," I hand him the coffee, "I know you're not a fan, but you know I really hate those energy drinks you buy."

"They get the job done," he claims.

"I don't buy that. No cream or sugar because who really needs that?" I ask.

"Nobody," Gabe smiles and it's the first one I've seen in weeks. It's been some time since he actually looked genuinely happy to see me, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," I say.

"Where you headed?" he asks.

"The gym for a bit. I'll leave you to it then," I tell him.

"I'll walk you out," he begins standing.

"No, really, get your work done."

"I could use a little break," he insists.

I don't argue.

"Hey, can you send me Logan's number when you get a chance?" he asks as we get to my car.

Logan?

"Sure," I reply confused by the request, "I can do it now."

"Thanks."

"What did you need with Logan?" I wonder out loud.

"He has a friend that needs a job and I told him I'd let him know if I heard of any openings. Then I thought maybe I could put in a good word for him at the store. I'd want to meet him before I vouch for him, but other than that there's no reason to not help him out," Gabriel explains.

"That's kind of you to offer," I say.

"It's not great but if he needs money maybe he'll be interested," he adds.

"He might," I agree.

I take a moment to think about how generous Gabe can be. The only thing that has been consistent in our relationship is how much he astounds me. There are so many sides to him. Sometimes what I find is good. Other times, what I find makes me sad, have doubts and feel hurt. Lately, I've had more of the latter.

"I sent it already," I say.

"Great. So, any weekend plans?" he asks.

"Shopping with Tash on Saturday," I answer.

"What's the occasion?"

"Tash doesn't need an occasion to buy clothes. Nobody does. She wants girl time," I say.

"Didn't you have girl time a few weeks ago?" he questions.

"We want more," I answer.

The truth is, it definitely wouldn't hurt for me to spend time with people other than Gabriel right now.

"After that I get to go to my fabulous job," I add.

"How about Sunday?" he asks.

"I work again then we're going bowling," I respond, "I didn't tell you because you claimed to be too busy. I would hate to inconvenience you," I answer.

"I was angry when I said that," he explains.

"I think I have an idea of what I want, and you have an idea of what you want, and they don't match," I say.

"We have things to work out, who doesn't?" he asks.

"I feel like we're drifting," I state, "I have my priorities and you have yours and neither one wants to budge."

"Could we be closer? Yes. This was just a rough week," he tells me.

"A rough week? Don't you see that we just keep disappointing each other?" I ask.

"Like when?"

"Like last week. I feel like what we have is not enough for you. I'm not going to lie, I want more too. I want you to be able to talk to me. You don't agree, that's fine. We're on different pages. Maybe we need to reconsider what we're doing," I say.