Flashcards On The Wall

Chapter 32: The Luckiest Guy

I quietly watch the road from the passenger seat. Gabriel is driving, Charlie is in the back seat. His cousin surprised Gabe with another visit. We're headed to a party I am not excited for because I'm trying to be more social and because Gabe convinced me it'd be fun. Him and that word these days. I swear. Tash had other plans but at least James and Abigail will be there. Cami too since it was her old roommate is throwing it. Tash helped me figure out what to wear which ended up being nothing I owned. I borrowed a jean skirt and top from her. It was not my usual style and showed a lot more skin than I'm used to. I figured why not? It was worth a try. I'm not exactly proud these are the lengths I go to for a guy, but it's Gabriel, and I'm not ready to give up on him.

"You like?" I asked Gabe when he showed up. I motioned to my outfit.

"I love," he smiles.

"Good," I reply.

"However, I don't need other guys getting the wrong idea. I'm going to need you to go put more clothes on."

"But I'll be with you the whole time," I assure him.

"So this is for me?" he says.

"I wanted to show you what you're missing when you aren't around," I answer.

"I am seeing the error in my ways," he says, "I really need to make more time for my girl."

"Really?" I ask.

"Although," he looks me up and down, "if this outfit is my punishment, you can punish me as much as you want."

I playfully hit him, "Don't make me blush."

"Why not?" he wonders.

"It's not nice," I say.

"In that case, I will keep the rest of the things I'm thinking to myself then," he answers.

"Please do."

He laughs lightly.

"I miss you," I confess.

"Me too," he responds.

Then I ask what I'm been putting off for weeks, "Gabe, you'd tell me if you were over me right? If you wanted to move on to someone else?"

"I don't want someone else," he replies, "I'm already the luckiest guy."

And I'm the luckiest girl, I think myself.

"I am so glad you're mine Millie," he whispers.

"Really?" I ask.

Gabriel kisses me.

"Yes, so stop worrying," he responds.

It's easy for Gabriel to say that. What does he ever worry about? I wouldn't know. He doesn't tell me. Certainly not us it seems. I force a smile which is what I've been doing a lot lately.

My attempt to retrieve input from Tash was unavailing, which was anticipated as I myself have no idea what is going on with Gabe. I was too embarrassed to reveal to her what I suspect is the problem.

I wait quietly for us to arrive.

"You should have brought her last month," Charlie says out nowhere to Gabe.

"Last month?" I turn to Gabriel.

"When he visited," answers Charlie.

Visited?

"What is he talking about?" I ask Gabriel

"Nothing," answers Gabriel.

"It's not nothing. Where did you go?" I insist.

At this point Gabriel is looking for a parking spot. Once the three of us are out of the car, Gabriel asks Charlie to catch up to James. He knows I want answers.

"Are you going to answer?" I ask, "The least you can do is have the decency to tell me the truth."

"It was n-" he starts.

"Don't you dare say nothing! You went home?" I realize.

"Yes," he answers.

"Like usual, you failed to indicate it. Did you think I'd try to tag along? I wouldn't have Gabriel. I know you rather keep me separate from them. For whatever reason, I am always separate from whatever it is you're hiding," I respond.

"Millie-"

"Don't Millie me. Something is wrong. I don't know what it is, but you do. You're lying to me," I say.

"No," he replies.

"Is it me? I know it's hard. I understand if it's frustrating, you've been patient. Is that it? Am I the problem?"

"Let's go inside," he reaches for my hand, but I don't move.

"Were there girls?" I ask.

"What?" he asks.

"You heard me. Is there something I should be worried about?" I continue.

"No," he answers.

"I don't believe you," I say.

"Look that's not what it was about," he replies.

"Then?" I ask.

"Can we not do this tonight?"

"I ask you something and you shut down. I tell you everything and you say just enough so that I'll drop the subject," I say.

"You don't understand," he tells me.

"Because you don't tell me. I mean come on, give me something to go off of."

He doesn't.

"Really? Nothing? It's one thing to have your secrets but it's another for me to be the only person that doesn't get to know. I love you Gabriel, but you don't see that. Do you?" I turn around to leave.

"Wait."

"I'm done waiting. That's all I ever do now. I'm not doing this with you anymore. I feel like I don't know you and right now, I don't think I want to," I explain.

Gabriel grabs hold of my arm.

"Let me go," I say.

He doesn't.

"Gabe."

His grip gets tighter.

"I hate when you do this," I tell him.

"You leave me no choice," he replies,

"You have a choice, this is what I mean. Why can't you talk like a regular human being? You know I'm not okay with you using your strength against me," I say.

"Let me explain," he says.

"I will scream. I will make a scene and I don't care who sees," I respond.

Finally, Gabriel releases me.

"Let me take you back home," he says.

"You have really lost your mind if you think I'm getting in that car with you," I tell him.

"I would never hurt you, you know that," Gabriel states.

"I said you'd lose me if you did that again and I meant it," I remind Gabriel, "I hope it was worth it because you are never touching me again. I'll find my own way home."