Flashcards On The Wall

Chapter 36: Secret Out

*Author Note: This chapter (as well as the rest story) will include discussions of sexual assault, thoughts of self harm/suicide, loss of loved ones/death. It is not my intention to make anyone uncomfortable so if these topics are triggers for you this may not be the story for you. If these are not a problem for you, please excuse the interruption and continue reading.  

I open my eyes and realize I'm still in my room but have been moved to the bed. Tash is holding a cotton ball dampened in alcohol to my nose.

"She's back!" she yells though Logan is next to her.

I wave her hand away and try to sit up, "Wh-where..."

"Take it easy Millie," Tash says.

"Where is he?" I whisper.

Gabriel moves to my line of vision, "There's my girl."

I feel my heart breaking when I hear him say that.

"You gave us a scare," he adds while starting to take a step closer.

"Where you are is fine," I say.

What else can I say?

He stops. Confused.

"You know it might have been the shock of hearing about Charlie," Tash says as she hands me a glass of water, "Drink."

I take it, but instead of drinking, I place the glass back on the end table.

"Do you remember what happened before you fainted?" asks Logan.

I nod and look at Gabe, but his stare is too much for me to bear so I turn away.

Tash notices and thinks of an excuse to give us some privacy, "You know what? I need Lo to help me in the kitchen, so we will be back."

"Help with what?" Logan questions.

"Come on, Lo," she tells him.

Tash attempts to close the door behind them.

"Leave it open," I say.

"Okay," she looks at me curiously.

The room holds the loudest silence I've ever heard.

Gabriel sits on the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" his voice is cold, unlike a minute ago.

There it is. The question I don't think I can answer honestly or accurately right now.

"Are you sick or something?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"Tash said you got food poisoning or caught a bug or something," he continues.

I still don't make eye contact. He scoots closer and I shift uncomfortably.

When he reaches for my face, I put my hands up to stop him, "Don't touch me" I say.

I need the distance between us. As much as the old Amelia would have loved having him to comfort me, this one can't stand the idea of it.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"About what?" he replies.

"Ch-Charlie. Are you sure it's him?" I clarify.

"Positive," he answers.

I don't say anything. I don't know what I can say. Nothing that will come out of my mouth will make him feel better. He thought I would help ease his pain but the only words I can think of will do anything but that.