Chapter 41

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 We went back to the shelter, and now my memories have returned. I was thinking about the memories that would’ve made me cry. I guess I was thinking so hard that I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was back at home, and I mean back in the city, with people. I got up and looked in a mirror. When I looked at myself, I was eleven again. I was thinking what the hell is going on?! I’m supposed to be fourteen!!! Plus, how did I get home? Wait a minute, I get it now. This is all just a dream. Maybe this might show me the memories or something.

I went downstairs, and saw my usual house. Everything looked exactly the same. I also realized since I wasn’t on the cruise yet, they would still be alive. I ran to my parents room screaming, “Mom?! Dad?!”

When I ran into the room, I saw my parents, sleeping like always. I was so happy to see them alive, but I guess I woke them up. My dad saw me and said, “Sakura? You seem happy today, even though it’s the day of the funeral.”

“The funeral? Who’s funeral?”

“What are you talking about? How can you not remember? She was your closest friend.”

I froze in shock and told my father, “Oh… of course. How could I forget such an important day? I’ll go get ready now...”

I got dressed, and now I remembered the thing, or one of the things that made me cry when I regained all my memories. I also realized that since I was back at home, I had my music! I ran to grab my phone, got my earphones, and just fell into a wonderful world with only me and my music. Everything around me vanished, and all I could hear was the beautiful voice of Iwasawa and her guitar. Plus Utada Hikaru, and you know what, no one knows who they are so I’ll just shut up.

Eventually, my dad shook me, screaming in my ear, “Sakura!!! Wake up!!! We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry!”

“Oh, of course! Just give me a minute.”

“And don’t forget your speech.”

“Speech?”

“Well, you are going to speak, aren’t you? We already had everything arranged, plus I’m sure it will help put her spirit at ease.”

“Yeah, of course. Let me just get it and I’ll meet you in the car.”

“Alright then, just hurry. We don’t want to be late or else we’re going to have a hard time finding parking.”

I laughed a little after my father left the room. It was so like him to say something like that. All he was worried about was the parking, which sounded exactly like something he would say. I grabbed my speech, jumped in the car with my music, and took off to the funeral.

On the way, I thought of something strange. How come I’m going to a funeral for my closest friend if I don’t even remember their name? Wait a minute, the speech might tell me something! I pulled out the speech, and read what it said. It said My name is Sakura, and I was a very close friend to Tera. She was a wonderful person, always so fun and kind, though she did have a bad temper if you got on her bad side, but that made her even more fun. I remember the time where we stayed up all night, talking about all this random stuff, dancing, and then we went out in the backyard and built our own little playhouse. It wasn’t much, but it was special to us because we hand made it ourselves. I treasure it because we called it our memorial of friendship. The first time we met, I was so shy, walking into the day care, hiding behind my mother with everyone staring at me. It was frightening, but then I saw Tera, and thought that she looked really nice, so I thought I would try to become friends with her. In about five minutes, we considered ourselves best friends for life. All I can say now is… I will truly miss her. She was special to me and many others. But out of all of them, I think I will miss her the most. Please, rest in peace… Tera.

By the time I finished reading my speech to myself, we had arrived at the church. We went in, and I got to see Tera one last time before they would bury her. I hugged her, but kind of afraid at the same time because I felt like she was going to come back to life at any second and just jump up. The ceremony began, and I went up after her family spoke. I read my speech and went back to my seat, with a tear or two falling down my face. The ceremony ended, and we took the casket over to the grave. Once the funeral was over, my family went back home. In the car, my parents or brother didn’t seem to be very sad, but I wasn’t really crying either. I did have some tears falling down my face, so I guess you could consider that crying. I kind of wish one of the guys were here to comfort me, but Ryoma was probably being abused right now and Kyo was probably working over at the orphanage in the kitchen, maybe with Rory, but who knows.

I fell asleep, and then when I woke up, I was still in the dream, but this time I was twelve. I think I already knew what this memory was, but I just decided to wait and find out for sure. I searched the house, hoping to find out what the memory was, and then thought I would wait until later, because it obviously wasn’t happening right now.

I decided to just lie down on my bed listening to my music with one earphone in my ear and the other one out so I could hear when something bad was going to happen. Around 12:30, I heard really bad fighting. I went to investigate, and saw my mom and dad fighting. Around them I saw tilted picture frames, a cracked TV, and a lot of broken glass. I decided to just watch from a distance, just to be on the safe side. I don’t think it would be safe to enter that zone. Whoever walked in there would be treated just like Ryoma when he walked into the room his parents were fighting in.

I started to hear them screaming, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying because of all the smashing. I think this was the day that… that something really bad happened to me. I think it was because I walked into the fight by accident, seeing if I could stop them. Obviously I did a bad job. All of a sudden, I lost control in my legs. I got up and started to walk into the danger zone. DAMN IT LEGS!!! DON’T WALK IN THERE!!! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!! STOP MOVING LEGS!!!  I guess I had to relive the memories, so I was ready to take the pain, no matter how bad it felt. I actually wasn’t really ready, but I knew when it was coming, so I was prepared.

What happened on this day was I walked into one of my parent’s fights, and my mom hit me with a vase. When she hit my head, I was put into a coma for about two months. It happened in the dream, but when I woke up, I was back in the shelter. When I remembered those memories this time, I only had one tear falling down my face. Kyo and Ryoma were there to greet me.

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