The Guy Who Gave Up His Jersey (New Version)

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The sign Patricia's Diner was vividly lit making it easier for passing cars to notice it on the freeway. I had been sitting in my car for the last ten minutes contemplating about entering the diner. Maybe calling him right after the fight with my mom wasn't the right choice for me. I am not mentally prepared to handle all of this—yet I doubt I'll ever be.

I took in a deep breath and got out the car; remembering he tried reaching out to me, so there isn't anything for me to be afraid of. Opening the door to the diner I looked around, my eyes landed on him sitting in the back. His looked upward and met my glance.

"Juliana," I heard him say.

You got this. As I walked towards him, he stepped out of the booth and waited for me to get to the table. As soon as I was in front of him, he tried to give me a hug but I took a step back and extended my hand.

"Oh, right. Sorry," he shook my hand.

"Sorry, I am still not..."

"...Juliana, it is okay. I understand." he gave me a reassuring smile. "You don't have to apologize," his voice was stern yet gentle enough to ease the storm within me.

"Okay," I sighed out, calming myself.

We took a seat on each side and ordered a drink from the menu. He went with his regular coffee and I asked for a strawberry shake. Once the waitress left with our order, we looked at one another waiting for someone to make the first move.

"My mom told me the truth..." my voice trailed off. "...and I need to know whether she lied to me or not,"

"Ask me whatever you want to know,"

"Did she really hide me from you?"

"Before I say anything Juliana I need you to understand I am not here to disrespect your mother. You were young when our relationship fell apart and I am so sorry you were in the crossfire. A child should never experience the things you did and I am sorry to you for that," he reached out and grabbed my hand.

"It's okay," I truthfully said.

"When people are hurt, they do unthinkable things which they are entitled to do. I cheated on your mom and the only way to hurt me ten times worse was to take you away. I wasn't the best man back then and for a long time I believed what your mom did was justifiable,"

"She had no right to cut you out of my life. You don't understand how fucked up I have been because you never came to look for me," a huge knot formed in the middle of my throat. I took my hand out of his grip and sat back on the booth.

My mom hurt me in the process of her revenge; she didn't think twice about the repercussions. If either of them cared about me as much as they say they d0, they would've put their feelings aside for my sake.

"Juliana, I did try to look for you," his eyes watered with mine. "She blacked-mailed me said if I continued reaching out she was going to tell the police I was the one who took money from the company I worked for." his eyes gleamed in disappointment. "It wasn't one of my best moments in life,"

"Did you steal from your company for the person you were seeing?" I asked.

He shook his head, "no, I was falling behind on the payments on the house and it was either have all of us on the streets or a roof over our head. I paid for my crime though,"

I looked at him confused, "you went to jail?"

"No, I confessed my crime to the president and paid back what I owed. although I had betrayed their trust I had also sealed a multi-million dollar contract for the firm,"

Everything my mom had said was true and the man my father was when I was a child is far gone. He explained to me he stayed with Anna, the lady he cheated on my mom with, and he raised Jack, his stepson, and has a ten-year-old daughter Lily. He has been the best father he could be in the hopes of one day being able to pay for being an absent dad in my life.

"I'm happy for you," he had a normal life; I'm happy his kids didn't have to go through the life I have. "You sound like a great dad,"

"I want to be a great dad for you too," he responded, giving me a small smile.

I took a sip of my shake and nodded, "I would like that,"

"Now, tell me what happened today? Why are you upset and angry?"

I scoffed, "am I that easy to read?"

He shook his head, "your mom called me to let me know what happened. She asked me to let her know if you called me,"

"And did you?" I raised my voice, feeling my blood boil.

"No, I wanted to speak to you first and try to get you to calm down,"

"She has some nerve," I spat angrily. "How can you not hate her? She kept you from me for thirteen-years!"

"But she raised you and loved you-"

"No, I raised myself and I loved myself without her. My entire upbringing has been a constant pull and tug between loving and hating her,"

"Juliana, you can't live your life resenting her. Look at the woman you become, you're smart and you have a kind personality. If you ask me, she raised you right," He said with a gentle voice, calming me down. "You have every right to be angry with your mother and I won't stop you from doing so, however you know she loves you and she'd give up her life for yours in a heartbeat,"

I focused my attention to my hands, avoiding to look at him. "Because of her, I believed I wasn't worthy of any love. How could I let any guy love me when my own father didn't love me enough to stay? I was miserable," my eyes watered.

"Oh, Juliana," he got out of the booth and sat on my side. He pulled me towards him and hugged me. "I have loved you from the moment I found out I was going to be a father and I'll continue loving you until the end of time. You deserve to be loved and you are," he whispered in my ear.

I buried my face on the side of chest and let the water streams flow. A sense of relief washed over me; my insecurities had been settled by him.

"I love you, sweetheart. And I'm truly sorry I didn't try harder to get in contact with you,"

I departed from him and wiped away the tears, "it's okay, maybe back then I would not have understood what had happened,"

"Maybe,"

The what-ifs didn't matter anymore; each of us had dealt with the pain. It's time for us to start a new chapter—a happier one I hope.