My biological father walked out on us when I was seven. Years before his departure mom and him fought nonstop. The screaming and the physical contact between each other worsen. I kept myself out of it, I'd hide away in my room and block out their screaming. You can pretend to be death for so long before their yelling gets taped in your head. Their screams replayed in my head at night like a broken record, it never stopped. I found comfort in food. It made me feel better. I gained a few pounds in the last year before my dad left. It's when the arguments worsened. By the time he left, I was obsessed for a seven-year old girl.
My mom was distraught over her broken marriage she didn't notice how her own daughter was eating her feelings away. I did it until I was eleven. It wasn't until Roger and Xavier walked in my life the binging stopped. Roger was the one who noticed how I'd hide away in the pantry to indulge in chip and soda until I threw up. He didn't have to understand the entire backstory of my mothers fail marriage to know I was physiologically effected by it. He sat my mother down and explained what was wrong with me and encouraged her to take me to see a therapist.
She denied my problem for awhile, she couldn't come to the terms she did this to her daughter. I never blamed her for what I did to myself. I saw no escape to their screaming and this was what helped me. It wasn't her fault I became fat, it wasn't her fault dad left. She ended up agreeing on sending me to a therapist and I got better. I stopped binging and I lost a lot of weight.
I hadn't binged in five years. Food no longer was my best friend but a simple supplement to live. That was until now, playing death didn't help anymore. Their yelling was too loud for me to ignore now.
I spent an hour in the pantry devouring the chips. I stopped eating when my stomach couldn't hold down the food anymore and the urge to vomit creeped on me. I rushed out the pantry room, straight upstairs to my restroom.
For me, the binge eating isn't the part that soothes me, it's throwing up. The acid burning my throat, the pain itself made me feel relief. For those moment I couldn't hear their yelling. I replaying every word coming out of their mouth.
I dropped to the floor, bursting into tears. I had just relapsed and every feeling I felt as a small child came flooding back to me. I felt hopeless again.
Most of my weekend, I spent it exercising until my legs gave out. I relapsed one time-it wasn't happening again. I worked hard to get better to throw it away. Their fighting wasn't going to stop not until they decided it was over. This time I wasn't making it my problem. I didn't want to throw another fail marriage on my subconscious. Roger was a better father than the man who made me. Roger cared, he adopted me.
They were going through a rough patch and they could either fix it or give up. Regardless of what they pick, it not my business.
I placed my plate of food down on the table and took a seat next to Enrique.
"You look exhausted." He frowned. "Long weekend?"
"Something like that." I whispered. I laid my head on his shoulder, sighing heavily. Xavier and Alejandro were sitting across the fable giving me the same worried look.
"I think you need another hulk drink." He joked.
I made a disgusted face. "No..." I shook my head remembering the horrible headache I had the next morning.
Everyone in the table laughed. "Don't underestimate his bar tending skills." Xavier chuckled.
Never again will I chug down a Hulk. My eyes roamed to Alejandro who was staring at me. Was he remembering that night too? How I foolishly thought he was trying to seduce me and I kissed him? I fucking kissed him! I squirmed in my seat and dug my face inside Enrique's arm. How embarrassing!!
"Are you guys coming through to the party on Friday?" Enrique asked Alejandro and Xavier.
"My sister gets married Saturday remember? I don't think I need to be showing up hungover to the ceremony." He chuckled taking a bite down on his pizza.
I sat up and frowned. "Why aren't I invited to this party?" I asked Enrique.
"He hasn't even invited us." Demi commented.
"I think it's an all guys party." Maria muttered.
I snapped my head towards Enrique who was drinking casually his monster. "It's a senior party. I didn't know if your brother is down to have you guys there?"
Oh so Xavier is going. I moved my bum around the seat to look straight at Xavier. "Does mom know you're going to a party Friday?" I questioned him. I rested my chin on my hand, waiting for his bullshit answer.
He glared angrily at Enrique.
"Don't look at me like that. They're part of the squad."
"Yeah, we are part of the squad so why aren't we invited!" Demi gave Xavier the same look as me.
Maria narrowed her eyes at Xavier and said, "are we not cool enough?"
We heard Alejandro chuckle to himself. "I want to see your get out of this one." He told Xavier.
He rolled his eyes. "William is throwing the party at a new club his dad is opening. It's exclusive. Don't look at me, he's giving out passes for it."
William is another legend and a pretty good friend of ours. He has always invited us to the parties he does. I don't see how this one is any different than the rest.
Alejandro scoffed. "You done fucked up now."
We all turned to look at Ale. Xavier swings his elbow straight into his ribcage and Ale jerked to the side.
"What does that suppose to mean?" Demi said.
"William gave your brother passes for the girls, he doesn't want to take you guys." Enrique answered.
I agreed with Xavier decision. "Alright you don't want to take us. I don't want to help you change numbers on jackets." I got up from the table and picked up my jacket. "Oh, and you won't get your playbook either." I smiled innocently at him.
"You're kidding right? I'm not forced to take you to every party!"
"And I'm not forced to help you with your wicked game."
"I quit." Demi responded getting up from the table. "I only helped out cause we get invited to the senior parties but if you are going to start excluding us from them, there's no need for me to stick around."
Maria picked up her tray and got up. "Same here."
Xavier gazed at us perplexed. "What do you think you guys are doing?"
"They're rebelling." Alejandro answered for me.
I nodded, that's exactly what we are doing.
I am currently updating this story once a week. School start tomorrow for me and I don't know how often I'll be updating luckily, I have about ten chapters written ahead so I can be frequently updating. I will probably most another chapter up on Sunday, if I am able to write a few more chapters for you guys.:)
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The Guy Who Gave Up His Jersey (New Version)
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