I am so sorry for the long wait, I graduated college and I have been busy with my new job. I have been working on chapters for this story just haven't had a chance to update. Please leave me your thoughts. THIS HASN'T BEEN EDITED, WHEN I GET A CHANCE I WILL! THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR PATIENCE, LOTS OF LOVE!
31.
I watched as Alejandro dropped a chocolate waffle on a plate and hummed quietly to the music playing on the television. When I awoke earlier I expected to find Alejandro next to me like in the movies when the people wake up and their all intertwined together. I don't know why but I was a bit disappointed not to find us cuddle together. Those thoughts were pushed out of my mind as soon as I smelled the food, I went downstairs and found Ale making breakfast. I guess he woke up awhile ago and went to get grocery and now he was cooking us breakfast.
I hadn't made myself known to him and it was creepy of me to just stare at him from the corner of the wall as he cooked, but all of this still feels unreal. I thought yesterday was all a horrible nightmare and today was going to be the start of my party. Unfortunately it wasn't the case and I had ran off with Alejandro to another state.
"Breakfast ready." I heard him say, turning around and locking eyes with me.
"You knew I was here all along, huh?" I said, crossing my hands underneath my chest.
He nodded. "Heard you come down the stairs but you didn't say anything and I wanted to finish cooking since I am starving."
"Orange juice or apple juice?" He asked grabbing the two small jugs of juices.
"Orange juice."
He poured me a glass of orange juice and placed the cup on the table. He had cooked eggs, bacon, and hash browns and for desert we were having my favorite chocolate waffles. We ate for a few minutes in silence, until Alejandro looked up from his plate to greet my stare.
"You regretting deciding to run off?" He asked. I shook my head, I didn't regret as we were driving off and I don't regret it now that we are here.
"I never saw you as a runner..." He swallowed his food. "I thought you'd face on your problems but when it comes to dealing with your dad and family you dash out."
"It's hard not to run when the man who was suppose to never break your heart, shatters it. It took me awhile to grow fond of Xavier dad, it was hard to have faith in a man and each day I found myself trusting him a little bit more-" I grabbed the cup of juice and took a sip. A lump had formed in my throat as I was explaining to Ale a part of me hardly anyone knows about.
"It doesn't matter how much this man loves me-he to broke my heart. He shattered, so why should I feel bad for running off? The first man did, whats so different with this one? Just because he has sticked around longer than the last it doesn't mean he loves me any better!" I began to raise my voice. "They all walk away, they all turn into dead beat fathers!" My voice cracked.
I dropped my fork on the plate and got up from the chair. I wonder what caused my real dad to walk out on me, even if my mom and him didn't work out he didn't need to vanish. For years, I tried to make sense as to why he didn't want to love me, was I not enough for him? Did mom push him far away every time he sees me, he sees her? I don't understand how any parent can leave their child and pretend like they never exist. Our parents are our first love—our forever love. No matter who comes in and out of our lives, parents are the only ones deep down we know won't break our most valuable piece within us.
Yet, fathers go years without seeing their children and mothers walk out on their kids when they realize motherhood wasn't what they expected. We didn't ask to be born or to be given parents who wouldn't want us. The damage they leave behind is unfixable, no matter if someone takes their place the hole they left behind will remain half-full, I'll always wonder why he didn't want to be part of my life.
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